depresión desesperación I have been hurt
again
Saturday, March 31, 2007, 8:02 PM
DAMN DAMN DAMN

I HATE MY BROTHER!!!!!!! AND WHY DO MY PARENTS VENT THEIR ANGER ON ME WHEN THEY ARE FEELING FRUSTRATED, IRRITATED AND/OR ANGRY???????????? WHY did THEY turn OFF the TV when I was WATCHING IT????????????? I controlled my anger but even after i plead my mother did not even allow me to. DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !@#$%^&*()~!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*(@#$%^&*()@#$%^&*@#$%^&*(!@#$%^&*(*%*$Y@*#&*T$(@&O&U@*Y$&*@^#*Y^@&^$*&%@(&#(!*&#(*&#(&(@&$*@^&#^@&^$*(*#&*@&$*^@&^@&%^&#(

so what do i do? I scream at my bro for any little thing which i not 'shuang' with. I screamed at him earlier on for snatching away a pen he HAD GIVEN take note, he GAVE it to Me! So how can he, the stupid, idiotic, moronic and dumb brat take it back? He is presently very ignorantly doing his music theory homework with Mummy (the vent-anger-on-me person) who was (she is now washing dishes and my brother is staring helplessly at his book without the reference, actually it is copying, of my old one which i have, in a fit of anger, refused to lend it to him.) See how my bro depends on me, the 'genius'. (actually i use that phrase to chide him when i am annoyed with him or when he says my marks or work is 'lan'. See how he will 'beat' next time! I bet he can't even get 3 A*) My dad was telling me not to blog anymore but i definitely cannot bottle things up and this is a way of relieving stress as i love to type and fell the keyboard and see how fast i can type and etc. etc.
DAMN HOMEWORK!!!




Me and My Dreams,





Thursday, March 29, 2007, 3:10 PM

Hong lao Shi placed Malcolm beside Shi heng and i'm sitting beside shi heng. Appearently, she doesn't that i have a phobia of Malcolm or if she does, she is out to torture me but i think she isn't that bad. Do you think that she will put Malcolm between me and shi heng if we talk too much? If she will, i will try not to talk too much. shi heng and the girls keep teasing me when i was talking to malcolm (and laughing) about the compo hong lao shi wanted us to write the other day. I was exasperated and told shi heng, "i thought you were my friend. From now onwards, i will ignore you. Say whatever you want. Humph." in madarin. Shi heng 'woke up' and apologised frantically but i wouldn't be budged. Malcolm was a little weird then... I hoped Ivy would not kill me but she smiled at me when we went home. Ivy is strictly not a bad girl. It wil be hard to change everyone's mindset.
Mrs Dass went to our class and told us a lot of things. She said i 'killed' the compo. She's a nice principal and if she could teach us......... Wow! I would love it. She's such a nice person.
At tuition yesterday, Mr Ng gave us ten dollars and asked us to buy a brainfreeze potion for him and told us to treat ourselves. When we (Jun hui, Tiffany and me)n heard that, we were totally shocked and stood there gaping. He said, "The money's with you. Buy what you want and come back in one piece." He had a sorethroat leh! I bought a coca-cola brainfreeze, tiffany a lemon tea and jun hui a box of crackers. Tiffany didn't drink hers and after Jun hui and kimberly finished the crackers, jun hui said she wanted to drink the brainfreeze. We shared it. I wonderd if Shammah has ever shared one with Jun Hui before. But if i''m right, she has.
Before tuition, the science thing, Nicole, Kimberly, Siqi and Marsiat wrote "It is a great year." on a piece of fulscap for me to decipher their handwriting to tell their character. They took it like as fun! I was stressed as they, obviously, hopeed it would be accurate. Nicole actually wanted to borrow the book! I might buy a book on palm reading and learn it then lend it to jia yi. I borrowed it from the library before and he wanted to borrow it but i had already returned it. I hav forgotten it already. I want to watch tv now so bye.




Me and My Dreams,





Tuesday, March 27, 2007, 6:06 PM
Great!!

You guys know what? I am so happy! I can get to participate in the bilingual olympiad organised by Nanyang Girls' High School and Hwa Chong Instituition!!! I am in the maths olymppiad too! if i am top 30 participants in bilingual, they will offer me a place in nanyang or hwa chong i cannot go to hwa chong. guess why. I AM A FEMALE!!! I am confident i can get something. though i am not complacent as there are loads more better than me. Tiffany is not going for bilingual. She hates chinese. If she tells me she wants to go, i was die faint of shock. You guys know the raffles instituition maths one? None of us in Concord can go to the second round BUT Eugene Lim got THROUGH!!!! how brilliant. Don't ask me where i got theinformation from. I got it from Elaine, his sister. We're good pals, you know. Eugene and another GEPer. How i wish to be in GEP but then i would not have gotten close with Tiffany and Marista and would not know KImberly and still be SHammah's enemies. (My present state in school was the 'smart' member of Ivy's gang. I can still remember things they made me do which required thinking!) Now, i'm happy and not all that nerdy, unlike Eugene. So you people, don't think i'm a nerd. I have things to blog and i hate my secret one so i'm going to delete it. Jun hong, you know what? That time that lame test? remember the one which said no. 3 was the person i liked? That stupid and inaccurate one for extremely not love-sick people like us kids? Actually, breaking free is the song which describes my life. I DO NOT want to be seen as a smart-alec as Jia Yi called me today. If you noticed, guys, i placed a list of friends and classified them as 'trustable' and 'untrustable'. Trustable people are the people whom i trust as they trust me. Untrustable ppl are people whom do not trust me and therefore, i do not trust them.

Me and My Dreams,






Sunday, March 25, 2007, 2:33 PM

Damn my homework and amn my arms. the left one is sore and the right one feel as if it has a serious blue-black (bruise)



Me and My Dreams,




Saturday, March 24, 2007, 1:56 PM

the jabs are still so painful. i changed my URL.



Me and My Dreams,




Friday, March 23, 2007, 4:50 PM
Immunisation (Injections! Damn that stupid booster!)

I hate injections. We got 2 jabs today and the one on the right hand was not painful as the medicine inside is not so. However, the one on the left was HORRIBLE!!!!! after a while, it was terribly numb and it hurt like there was a lot of pressure on it. The righ tone was the one I did work with. Shammah, Ivy is perfectly trustable as she is not an Ah Lian!!! She is known as bad under the influence of Xin Yu. She has to tie 'chicken backside tail' as if she doesn't, Ms Indra will scold her. She is one of the only people in my mothertongue class who actually cared about how i felt, not how the injection felt, if you can tell the difference, guys. Tiffany's Maple character is already a cleric and is in Orbyss!!! How i envy her. I'm stuck in Victoria but i'm in Zipangu now. Oh my gosh!!!! That msn account who just IM me just now was Mrs Raymond! i cannot believe it. I am totally shocked! She plays maple? i just cannot believe it. I'll ask her on monday or text her. i'll go now. lame ending, as always




Me and My Dreams,





Tuesday, March 20, 2007, 4:10 PM

hiya. school's boring. at around 2.10 pm, we were having higher mothertongue and i was so tired i was practically asleep but just half asleep. i was nodding and dozing off for 10 minutes before i 'awoke' and earned a point for my group. That time kimberly said if i wanted to try out sitting beside a 'rock' (a very boring person), i should sit beside suan yong. he might have been a rock but after he sat beside me, he keeps talking but not as often as i do. Today, when mrs ang asked us if she went through the train question, i said no and suan yong did this "CHOO... CHOO...ch-ker-ch-ker-ch-ker-ch-ker CHOO..CHOO..." the whistling of a train like the 'lil kiddies in kindergarten do!!!! i was totaly annoyed and glared at him with slightly closed eyes and said,"Why don't you go back being a rock, not a lil kid."
i said after wards to kimberly, "Today, when mrs ang was going through the maths worksheet, she asked us if she went through the train question, (she said, "uh-huh")i said no and suan yong did this 'CHOO... CHOO...ch-ker-ch-ker-ch-ker-ch-ker CHOO..CHOO...' (Kimberly laughed VERY loudly at this point) i was totally annoyed and glared at him, like this." i showed her how i glared and she laughed EXTREMELY LOUDLY again!!!
"and said,'Why don't you go back being a rock, not a lil kid.' "(that was me. then she frowned and said, "Hey. he just quit being a rock and you made him go back being a rock all over again." then we both laughed.
at higher mothertongue, i asked suan yong if he wanted to be rock and he said no.
by the way, has any one eaten their luncherio?
it's a test me and mel are giving. so far, jia yi gave the most intelligent answer and then comes ruzaini. the rest replied "what?" and "huh?" and Marsiat said, "my what?" which is almost the same as "what".
er... goota do my geneticist and typpe my compo. horrible lah!!!
Gabriel actually forgot he is not in my group and i pretended to be serious and he did no even notice!!!


Me and My Dreams,






Monday, March 19, 2007, 3:45 PM
sigh...

why does school have to start now? DAMN!!! i could do with another week's rest and play play play!!! damn school. HAs any one found out my secret blog yet?
i'll put a tagboard. Whoever finds it first pls tag!!!! seeif you noe its me or not. TEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. WAHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO.



Me and My Dreams,





Friday, March 16, 2007, 11:19 AM

Presently doin LEAD. still puzzled why Malcolm prevented the others from Sabotaging me. I'm soory to Malcolm for ruining his Glasses. His frame was flimsier than mine. Mine wasn't spoilt so much. Just that i still wasn't used to it quite so much. bb.



Me and My Dreams,




Thursday, March 15, 2007, 3:10 PM
hrrumph

I'm presently at Shammah's house, using her com since i can't swim (don't ask me why) and Aunty Siva is watching the telly so i can't watch it and i find it pretty insecure using it here but since all 3 of the girls who are at home aa re currently in the bathroom, it's ok. Let me tell you about today. We went bowling and oh damn! it was great!!! i had a strike and scored about 44 points or more. then, we went back home (presently referring to Shamah's house for the time being.) and went to eat titbits and pizza. then we played dance dance revolution which was damn funny and it rox! marsiat came late and i screamed at her. i guess i was high! totally high! then we went to the playground to play blind mice and kimberly, marsiat and shammah helped me roller blade fo rlike, 5-10 minutes then they went swimming.
It was totally boring i tell you but they made me sing!!! I forgot the lyrics then i didn't sing anymore already lor. Malcolm accidentally accidentally-on-purpose splashed me with water and i threw his specs into the pool but spoiled it a little. then he chased after me and i ran but got caught in the end as it was a dead e nd. he grabbed me specs and spoiled it so we're quits. i spent a long time trying to fix it but it's ok only now, not totally better. I told malcolm he owed me $100 for ruining my specs. I didn't know that i spoiled his then. The boys then plotted to splash me with water and Shammah warned me about it. I sat further away, turn on music on my handphone and started singing to myself but when i do that, it isn't very soft. I didn't know why the boys didn't splash me then. Hahaha. Shammah is here but i dunno why she's carrying her towel around. She said, "Cos' she's drying her hair...?" She even told me to put 'dot dot dot'. I can't type properly now cos i'm like bursting away. Aunty Siva called her and she said. "I'm going away. I'M. GOING AWAY" as if she expects me to type that. she went out and now she comes in. Her arm is as dark as her shirt.(that's a qoute and the shirt is very dark., says shammah) she also commented that this is why people say my blog is boring, (SHAMMAH DID THAT!!!!!!!!!!) i won't type 'and that' cos she will like, cancel it but maybe she will cancel this too! Shammah told me to paragraph everything and i do not make it sound as if you did this post shammah!!!! i bet the rest are coming up now and shammah says that i sound like a reporter and shammah tellls me to stop so ..............
(continued the next day!)
when i went away from the pool back to shammah's house, Gabriel was urging the boys to carry out whatsoever plan to sabotage me. Gavin said ok lah or something like that but to my utter astonishment, i heard Malcolm said "DOn't want lah". I didn't hear anything else as i was running back to watch TV. AUnty Siva was watching so i used the com. AN typed this.





Me and My Dreams,








Saturday, March 10, 2007, 10:03 AM
YES!!!!!!!!! (edited version)

OMG!!! I got like, 3 A* for my CA1 !!!!! and 89 for science & higher mother tongue!!! I'M SO HAPPY BUT NOT SATISFIED!!! i want too get more marks for english, full marks for maths and an A* for science. I'm aiming for five A* in SA1 and i'm working towards it. OK>
-NUS PERformance Musica Sacra (there's no spelling mistake here ok?)
IT WAS FANTASTIC!!! the backstage was incredible and was 3 storeys and the stage was dark and cold, and we sang beautifully!
during all the practices i could not smile even though the conductor did all she could to try to make me smile but i didn't. however, all through the real thing, i was so proud of myself that i could not STOP smiling! :) i was standing beside xue kai and ok, ok, he looked good but luckily xin yu was not there as she is his ex. That xue kai was one of the boys hong lao shi brought into CL6.1 the other day. you noe what he did? threw paper into the rubbish bin like malcolm and ended up scolded! how hilarious. the photo taking after everything was fine except we had to squeeze and you noe what happened? guess. i had to squeeze beside a female friend and xue kai squeezed as well!!! that's why i say lucky xin yu was not there. Xin YU bullied me in P1 and i'm like, afriad of her.
Stupid part is, the bus ride home, Shu Han (P4 deputy head prefect, dunno who check out the prefectorial board. it's there i think) and shu hui and min hui (twins)teased me about that and blah blah blah. i think you noe what. if you dun, you're daft. i replied: that xue kai doesn't even understand when i speak good english and sure enough, when i said he was hilarious, he looked at me with a puzzled frown.
TUition yesterday, tiffany heard a recording of NEKO BASU (cat bus in japanese) which i played on the organ, and thought i recorded it from you-tube or a musician's album! CRAZY!!!! i was staring at her as if she was an a lien from outer space! i'm not playing maple today i think and i absoulutely cannot go to Sentosa as mummy said no because of blah blah blah but i bet she is lazy lah and dun wan 2 go swimming so if shammah sees this, "Can i go to ur house pls?" anyway, i goot a go and find out... bye





Me and My Dreams,








Saturday, March 03, 2007, 9:43 PM

tomorrow, i am going to nus to perform for choir with the nus choir!!!! YAY!!!!!! this time, it is not just a workshop but people are actually PAYING to hear us sing!!!! isn't that great? We are actually now a professional choir! WHOOPEE!!!!!!!!! The higher mothertongue paper was horrible and i finally played maple after 3 long weeks++ you noe? and my bro doesn't believe i played it! WHat the clop!!! i nid 2 go now! anyway, shammah was like saying what i would put here. Here's something:
later





Me and My Dreams,