depresión desesperación I have been hurt
again
Sunday, August 31, 2008, 7:59 PM
Outing with Tiffany and Marsiat

I went out with Marsiat and Tiffany. The Lack of Ramya made everything feel so... incomplete. I was taking the bus to the interchange 10 minutes late. All because I messed up with the curry they (my family's friends) wanted to eat the curry I cooked. They apparently got the impression I can cook extra delicious curry. -.- Anyway, Tiffany smsed me to see where I was already and I replied interchange. I found out later so did Marsiat. And Tiffany went to the Interchange to look for us while I practically ran to the MRT. And upon calling Tiffany, I saw Marsiat too so perhaps we had been on the same bus w/o knowing it. She whacked Marsiat. But not me, because I was immune. What did she mean by immune? I remember we used to whack each other practically everyday whether or not there was a reason to do so.

Then we took the MRT to Jurong Point, and the first thing we did was go downstairs to look at the new foodcourt, Banquet, where practically every stall was halal. And Tiffany and I couldn't find anything to eat, we walked past the Mr Bean shop and bought pancakes, you know the traditional chinese ones? Yea. I bought a red bean one while Tiff bought peanuts one. Eating peanuts make you get pimples. :/ Anyway, I told them that would be what I was gonna eat for lunch, they were shocked. Tiffany threatened to call Mrs R but she didn't anyway. Hey! At least I ate. I wasn't even hungry, my dears. Then we went upstairs to look for food Tiffany woud want to eat and she wanted to look for the Vegetarian stall. amazing. We found both but because Marsiat didn't want to eat from the Muslim food stall there, we went back down and all me and Tiffany ordered was a can of Anything and Whatever that we shared. I found out that every can of Anything and Whatever was different. AMAZING! And she dank more than one can because I couldn't drink anymore. And we found out Marsiat had decided what to eat a long time ago, before we even decided where to eat.

We went shopping later, but Tiffany didn't get to drink her Chng Teng. I must treat her to some on Christmas or something. There were moments we kept leaving Marsiat out of our convos by accident. I mean, we couldn't help it. Me and Tiffany do have much more in common. Not that you aren't our best friend too, Mars. Looking at you eat, makes me think of the macaroni you always ate. And you said that Nicole was thinking of me the first day of lunch in CGS. That was touching. I didn't think people would actually miss me. Perhaps it's because not many people is ever that close to me as you guys were. Hate graduation. HATE IT! And what's worse is from the start of the year until now, this is the first time I got to see you.

We were trying on rings and clips and looking through boutiques and laughing. They said my taste changed. Perhaps. People all do change. But it makes everything different. I wished nothing changed. But getting back on topic, It was fun! And Tiffany liked this denim dress. When lots of teachers in NYGH love denim, and your best friend turns out to love it too, it's creepy. And in RGS, Tiffany's labelled as cute. x) rofl. She does a very good job at acting cute! Especially as a bunny. x) And they went into this PUMA shop and sat there, without trying on shoes or anything. And the shop lady looked at them disgustedly. That was embarrasing I ran out of the shop and waited outside. And from then on, everywhere we went, the shop people seemed to keep looking at us, as if we would shoplift or anything. Please. We're good girls.

Tiffany insisted to go to the library and we finally went in the end. I was too tired to read much and browsed through only. Marsiat's money got jammed in the vending machine and nothing was vended but she was given her change. x) She called the hotline and they are going to send her a voucher or something. That was plain funny. Anyway, we were aruguing about what transport to take home. I insisted on the train but they Marsiat wanted the bus. That would go past the cemetary. I hate buses. sheesh. Don't make me take buses lah. Tiffany said she would take the bus if Marsiat gave her a full bottle of Minute Maid limeade, I said I would take the bus if she gave me a guitar. Ah, I went to the yamaha shop in Frontier CC and looked at the guitars. They were so ex. Most were above $300. I think I would buy a second hand one. hehe. I only have like, barely $200 dollars as savings. The bulk savings (like prize money and stuff) go to the bank and I totlaly DO NOT have access to the money in my bank account.

Then we went to our house and ate curry! woohoo! It tasted delicious and we took a second helping, except Marsiat, because she ate so slowly when we finished all that remained of the curry, she still wasn't done with her first serving. x) And the bread was nice. So including people from the gathering we were told to keep out from earlier, we finished all the two loaves of bread mum and dad got at the movie party. We tried to webcam Ramya but whereas we could see ourselves perfectly well, we couldn't connect. darn. But we could telephone her via internet and heard her voice after a very long time. And we were singing and playing and everything. x) Miss the good ol' days. So instead of webcam, we took many pictures with the camera on the com and sent her. I'm uploading those yea. We turned into camwhores! hahahaha. When they all finally went, they took a photo of graduation that I developed long time ago. But marsiat forgot to bring hers back. :(


We took this in the toilet! x)
Tiffany actually dared to play this. Incredible. Thank me.
Woohoo! No, I'm not Tarzan. I look fat and short. :(




All the random pics we took. x)

10:53 AM

Sorry Jie. I didn't mean it. I really didn't.

4:41 AM
Angels - Within Temptation

You took my heart
Deceived me right from the start
You showed me dream
sI wished they'd turn to real
You broke the promise
And made me realise
It was all just a lie

Sparkling angel
Couldn't see
Your dark intentions
Your feelings for me


1:29 AM


Thanks to Huahua, I'm very much addicted to Within Temptation songs, which are mostly symphonic metal. GO Within Temptation.

After hearing 汪阿姨's stories about Xinyi and her boyfriend, I begin to lose all wishes for my first romance. If being in a relationship will make you blind and change you, I don't want one. Even if it makes me more mature. The prospect of it is getting more scary and confusing as I look at Xinyi and Jie and Ge. I mean, don't they all breakup in the end? Who will date for 10 years and marry? Nobody. Logically, there is no point in giving so much to the other when it will all become nothing. But apparently, one will be willing to do it and won't see all the disadvantages. I don't want to submerge in such a illusionary world. I want to be clear-headed and see reality. Why did I ever want romance at this age? It seems so... stupid. And I don't want to be stupid. Not ever. 我是一个很现实的人,不要把我变成一个充满幻想的笨蛋。


12:36 AM
'You rule'

Because of neglect I was hurt deep,
Because of trust my heart did bleed.
The true me you can no longer see,
The me that no one else could meet.

'You rule' simple words you said,
A casual comment that you made.
Removed the wall and the hate,
To the mask farewell I did bade.

12:20 AM
Movie Party - Money No Enough 2

Mum and Dad went to watch Money No Enough 2 today and went to the Movie Party! And they saw Jack Neo! Woohoo! Jack Neo is currently my idol now. Simply love his shows. They even took a photo together. It rocks. Seriously. Jack Neo is amazing. The show was amazing. And they brought home two loafs of Sunshine bread and two towels and one booklet of discount vouchers. Perhaps it was to help us save money. x)

Anyway, the poor old mother in the movie showed signs of Alzheimer's Disease. So those who watched it, if you feel sorry of the old mother, please feel sorry for the other old folks' who suffer the same fate and have Alzheimer's. Go watch our film, Forget-Me-Not. Don't worry if you haven't got tickets, just go on September 4th, 7.30pm, Siew May Auditorium in Nanyang Girls' and you can buy tickets there and then. All proceeds go to the Alzheimer's Disease Association. Remember, not only old folks' get Alzheimers', even youths like ourselves do. If you haven't watched the movie yet, GO WATCH IT! Or simply google 'Money No Enough 2' to read reviews on it. You'll feel a bunch of emotions already.


Saturday, August 30, 2008, 8:08 PM
talking to ramya

talked to ramya after such a long time. and she told me I used to scold Marsiat for eating chicken. Why? What's wrong with eating chicken? Apparently, I thought it was unhealthy for her. I vividly remember being their health advisor. x)

Going out for lunch with Tiffany and Marsiat tmr. Then they're coming over to webcam Ramya and it'll be four of us again. just like old times.

I'm finally getting a bit of social life.


1:06 AM
Summoned so suddenly

Well. I went to watch Money No Enough 2 yesterday. and came home to eat dinner because mmmy didn't let me buy any popcorn or drink. And guess what? Ge called and asked me to go there immediately. So I rushed there, with the help of my dad. They wanted to go West Coast Park, such an ulu place at such a late time. sheesh. And I saw them crossing the road, I jumped out of the car and ran towards them, nearly being hit by a car. ok. I was scraped and fell down but I was alright. Just a scrape on my knee or something, and a small bruise on my waist. I leapt up and was beside TingChih xuejie in a minute. Zhuoya xuejie said "我觉得你很像神耶!" Of course! I rushed out and was there in like, less than 30 minutes. incredible lor. And they made me go to West Coast Park. Somewhere I haven't been since P3, when I was nearly kidnapped. Thinking back, those kidnappers were seriously 无聊. It's not as if I'm from some rich family or something. And I was smart. I ran to somewhere with people and got saved.

Then WenChang xuezhang was spinning Ge on the spinning thingy. It looked so fun. But Ge, being very 逊, vomited. I think I played so fast when I was younger. But long time never play already mah. Cannot do so fast. I remember going to one theme park you had to stand on this thingy with a string on top and some belts and the machine would spin you round and round while going in a circle, like the moon just faster. He vomited and became 怪怪. O.o 太夸张了吧?It was fun playing there for a while and I finished filiming my scene, and got sand all over myself. I had to hug Ge's arm. It was damn disgusting. He had to look as if he had been searching for me for a long time and he did. His arm was sweaty. Ew. I still haven't eat yet. :( And Jie went home pretty early and didn't say a word to me. Oh well. Got over it. They are far too busy.

Then no one was going to go home by MRT and I had to wait for Papa's car. Luckily he was still in the district. But no one was going to wait for me and WenChang xuezhang told me to go to McDonald's to wait. But West Coast Park is filled with so many so many horrible and frightening memories. When you get kidnapped in P3, you don't easily forget it. And the worst thing was, some Malay gangster-looking people pointed their fingers at me and said something that did not seem pleasant in Malay. So I ran for it. Luckily Xuezhang was still there. I was terribly frightened. He said on the kerb and whether it was intended or not, thanks for accompanying me. Or else I don't know what I would have done. Run away from that place and get knocked down by a car or something.


Friday, August 29, 2008, 1:54 PM
I'm an island

'No man is an island', that's a total lie.
I'm all alone and I didn't even cry.
I was hurt, for once more I did believe,
Why never did I from lessons receive?
I never noticed the warning signs,
With trust I foolishly turned blind.

Everyone's got their own life, so do I.
Maybe my life hasn't got you inside.
But now the wound doesn't hurt no more,
Once more in my heart there is a wall.
That shield you removed returned again,
And all the warmth vanished, so did the pain.

Thursday, August 28, 2008, 9:01 PM
Unseen disappearance

People no longer care,
They see me no more.
Once before I had existed,
But now I'm barely dust.

People just don't bother,
Who cares anyway?
I'm just a piece of furniture,
Not even in their way.

Perhaps they saw me,
But that makes it worse.
If me they did notice,
It's me they did ignore.

In those times of need,
They were here for me.
But those times aren't gone,
Why can't they now be seen?

Maybe I need new friends,
New people to depend on.
But everyone is the same,
In the end they still disappear.

8:44 PM
Reflected Poems

well. today's filming was quite fun. and the scenes looked wonderful. except that it was funny at some parts. And Jie and co. were saying many weird things that they absolutely refused to tell me. Perhaps it's because they think I'm too young. And Zhuoya xuejie asked me who looks more shuai, Ge or Wenchang xuezhang. I said Wenchang xuezhang. No offence Ge, but it's definitely not because I'm used to looking at you, but because both of you are in two categories, you can be classified as 'handsome' but Wenchang xuezhang is 'cute'. get my point? Like erm... Lollipop? You're like Fabien (Xiao Yu) and he's like Wang Zi (Prince).

I feel shorter each day. Why am I not growing? I think I cried so many times because of my height. Why am I so short. Seriously, if I still don't grow taller, I don't know what I'd do in desperation. I won't live as the shortest person on Earth. I won't.

And Cat, you're right. The poems do reflect my feelings. Most of the time. They are how I express myself. But not all the emo ones actually mean emo. Only someone who understands me really well can tell what's everything there is to my poems. So don't go around misinterpreting.

Jie sent everyone a thankyou sms last night, or should I say this moring, at 3am. And MaKe xuejie and Zhuoya xuejie only saw it in the morning, whereas I woke up. And inferred immediately everyone got the same one.

P.S. My letter hasn't come. And Jie probably won't remember. She won't even read my blog nowadays. She's probably too busy. Too busy with her life.


Wednesday, August 27, 2008, 12:53 PM

Just finished watching Jie and two other ppl perform. She rocked. Totally. And Xinyan xuejie & etc. went to give her a lighted small cake up there. ChunShan and Hannah told me to give Jie her present then. No thankyou. I gave it to her after everything. oh well.

Then I went upstairs and saw Tianjiao, etc. hopping around. Yes, hopping. It was fun. I played with Sarah. They asked, "Your jie sang? Where's your Ge?" I was like... away in HCI. -.-




Tuesday, August 26, 2008, 11:07 PM
Acting sad.

I want to be like Lizzie McGuire in the Lizzie McGuire movie because it's so romantic. Even if she was lied to all the time, having something once is better than nothing at all. She had Gordo anyway.

And I will not act sad/depressed/sick again. Because I know some people really care. Thanks for being concerned. Sorry for bluffing you.




9:45 PM
Musical Rehearsal x)

ok. today was fine. except that I had no money and had to borrow $1 from Junhui. Then this girl from another class (forgot her name, sorry.) returned me sixty cents and Sarah returned me $1 so I could pay Junhui back! x)

Then the rehearsals, I saw the new lead. He's really cute, like those a tad bit feminine-looking Japanese guys? And after interacting Ge and the other four xuezhangs for sometime, it doesn't seem so hard to speak to a Sec 4 boy I've never seen before. And I bet he found me childish. But anyway, it doesn't matter so much. It was really fun, filiming and stuff. Oh guys, on 4 September, we're going to air the movie in the audi we filmed, but you've got to buy tickets. All proceeds go to the Alzheimer's Disease Foundation (or something like that). It's my first time acting (even though it's a really small part.) so... hehe. And Ge and the... Wenchang xuezhang wore blacl shirts. Wenchang xuezhang is damn tall (i hate him. I hate tallies. :/ ) and skinny, as in skinny, not thin.

I found out how hard it is to make a scrapbook, when you have to put double-sided tape on over 60 pictures, and cut them, make sure they look nice, plan how to stick them, and worst part is, you tend to cut yourself at times. Next time I want to make a scrapbook, I'll use photoshop.


7:01 AM
School before dawn

Wake up on the morning at the break of dawn,
Everywhere I go I hear the crickets' song.
Enter the school so empty and dark.
No one comes until the school day starts.

Heading to the classroom in despair,
Hearing my footsteps on the stairs.
I see no one, neither soul nor ghoul,
But just smell something that's quite foul.

Found the classroom that I seek,
I speak to the girl ever so meek.
The one lone girl who sits by the window,
With her pretty little head bent so low.

No response but I don't care,
Give no damn to the girl who scares.
But when the light comes and the keys come too,
She smiles and I felt such a fool.


This poem was written when I had the impulse to write upon reaching school at 6.40am and with some help from Tianjiao (refer to Stanza 3 Line 3 and 4). No offence to the 'girl who scares'. x)


Monday, August 25, 2008, 6:48 PM
Changes



The clouds move and are never the same,
The days past and will never remain.
Even the sidewalks, the roads and the familiar school too,
One by one they will disappear or change.

Memories of places that won't again exist,
Linger in my mind when new things are here.
I miss them so much but they won't come back,
But the misery to reminise comes back so bad.

They who enjoyed those days with me,
Each other we'll probably never again see.
But who will remember and recall that place,
That place we once upon a time called home.

Between past and future the contrast is great.
To those words no more can really be said.
But what's our job is to preserve the past,
And not forget while the future comes fast.

Trees grow for decades but aren't always the same,
Houses are built but they always turn grey.
The only things that remain will be my mind,
And those memories which are left behind.

6:31 PM
Trip to Concord

Let's start with the beginning of the day. We were watching Hot Shot on the com and it was brilliant. fantastic. totally loved it and it was really funny! practically 70% of the class was watching. But I didn't turn it off, hoping to watch it during lunch and during LA, Ms Teng found out when she used the projector. She cancelled it. :(

Then after school, we went to Concord and met Erica outside McDonald's. Well, we arrived first and we were so hungry we bought a Hot Fudge Sundae each. But we shouldn't hve eaten it. I should have got an Apple Pie and JunHui shouldn't eat cold stuff. sigh. Erica bought a student meal and I stole took 2 fries from her. x) We talked a lot and I gave Mrs Raymond a photo album and Mdm Mona Lee & Mrs Shirley Ang a photoframe with their photos in it. I designed the photo album myself. woohoo! And I edited Mdm Mona Lee's photo but i don't know why there was a 1pixel Gaussian Blur. Oh well. She found it sweet but I think she wasn't too happy about it. :( And Mrs Ang wasn't there. So Mrs Raymond helped me put it in her pigeon hole inside the General Office.

They are changing the school song. The school song CANNOT be changed! It's our identity, our history, our memories, our unforgettable school song!

I didn't get my letter today. sigh.


Sunday, August 24, 2008, 10:28 AM
sleepless night

I didn't sleep the whole night through. Was busy trying to do the Global Tales thing and sew my article nicely. I did and redid a few times because I kept failing. But now it looks rather nice, I think.

Dunno why these few days, I kept wondering when will it be my turn to date. Even though I know if I date in secondary school, all the relationships will have a 95% chance that they will end in a breakup. Oh well. I'll just wait. slowly. And study for my EOYs instead of daydreaming. And hope I can sew the last button onto my article successfully.

P.S. I just found out Ge is a cassanova. O.o *dodges* You can't whack me. x)


Saturday, August 23, 2008, 6:47 PM
gah.

darn. so many things to do. do the circus alley cat poem stuff, LA filing, revise for EOYs, make stuff for Mrs R and co., make Jie's scrapbook, cook my dinner, vacuum and mop the house. what else? oh and bio. crap. left it in school. And have to listen to two songs and find out why they are classified as blue and pink. (don't ask me why songs are classified into colours. Ask Zhiyang xuezhang.)

Hate school.
Hate life.
Hate HOMEWORK.

2:10 PM
Scarlet

Scarlet was nice. Quite abstract but if you can intrepret what they are trying to show, it's wonderful. And amazing. Simply loved it. If you didn't understand 寻。异梦's 3rd show, don't watch it. seriously. Because you probably won't understand it anyway. But if you just like looking at people walking around and doing weird things, it's fine. I WANT TO WATCH IT AGAIN! But no money.

This morning I received a letter from Readers' Digest telling me I have been chosen for a sweepstake. It doesn't seem to be fake. And I want more money! so i'll send back my reply. hehe.

Today Gefang, ZhiYang学长 was teaching us some stuff, like colours to classify songs and stuff. Then QianNi学姐 taught us harmonising. It was super fun. They were both nice and funny. But ZhiYang学长 has a bit of gay actions.

Although he's really nice and stuff, I can't help remembering what 大苹果老师said, that people who act gay ('娘') have their arms bent most of the time. And yea, he's the first campus superstar. Cool right? And we saw a preview of their performance on their midautumn performance. Jie sang well. but it was soft. And Zhiyang学长 sang a solo. You know what he told us? "I never let them sing solo. Because their mistakes are easy to tell." And I guess he thinks he's pro enough. Which isn't exactly wrong. He acts cool while singing, even more than that time he was on tv. But his coolness had a bit of gay-ness in it. (sniggers. He won't read my blog. EVER. so it's ok, I guess.) I want to go. With Boon Hui. x) Go Jie, you rock! It was quite nice already. I could tell you tried very hard.

Friday, August 22, 2008, 4:09 PM

It rained buring assembly. sheesh. just when i thought there would be musical publicity. damn the rain clouds. today in bio, Ms lye thought I was sleeping again but then noticed that I wasn't. I was actually writing. O.o dunno why I like to lie on my arms and write sometimes.

PE was fun. We played captain's ball, just that the captain was replaced with a cone you've got to hit. missing doesn't count. :( anyway, my team had me (oviously), Tianjiao, Brenda, Gah Yarn and Chun Shan. x) The opposing team was Wanqing, JunHui, Wanlin, Callie and Pingghee. Last time, JunHui was usually in Shammah's team and always won. Today, we won. 2 to 1. woohoo! It was fun nevertheless.

7:07 AM
my dad's car broke down

still suffering from serious aftershock. my dad's car broke down. seriously. It was already like, 6.30+++ so if I take the bus, I'll be damn late. And get one demerit point and my whole life will be over. OVER. Furthermore, I'll miss the musical's publicity act. That would be the saddest thing in my whole life. ok, not whole life but you get my point. Anyway, Ge will be coming today. woohoo! Ok. back to the point. So I took the taxi here and the taxi driver drove one big round because he wasn't sure where to go. Who cares. Just want to get to school in time and we were chatting and chatting on the journey. he was really nice. And he thought I had a terrible life. I seriously agree. I'm already ...hemhem... lucky enough. I did reach school in time. sigh.

I brought a musical instrument today. ok, half an instrument. durmsticks, no drum. sad. Let's hope I get to use the xylophone or metallophone. The harmonica JunHui brought is really cool. Even if it's cheapskate.




Thursday, August 21, 2008, 9:36 PM
Miseria

Why can't I leave this place,
Free like a meteor stream?
Leaving behind the remains,
Of what used to be my dream.

People hurt others and don't say sorry,
They prod and poke your wounds.
Until one day you give up all hope,
That happiness would be found.

When will people finally understand,
That words can cut like any sharp blade?
And that those cuts leave scars upon our souls,
Which don't heal no matter what's said.

I cover myself up with a paintbrush,
To hide who I truly am,
I cover myself up with a paintbrush,
To put on contrasting pretense.

I'm gonna smile like nothing's wrong,
Talk like everything's well,
Act like it's just a dream,
And make sure none can tell.

I try to laugh about it,
Cover it all up with lies.
I try to laugh about it,
Hiding the tears in my eyes.

The closer we are to the soul,
The further we are from perfection.
Honesty turns to one false goal,
Of lies there'll never be confessions.

9:26 PM
Left Alone


Like a downed power lines
Sparking in the street
Or as if you see a rattlesnake
Coiling at my feet

Run away please do not stay
It's better if you go
I'll pull you right into the fray
I'm not someone you want to know

If I tore my heart out of my chest
And sewed it to my sleeve
I know it wouldn't be enough
I'm colder inside than you could believe

It's better for you really
I won't let you get involved
You don't need to know my feelings
And I won't need to be absolved

Like a leper full of tainted flesh
Or a rabid pitbull's bone
A prisoner glaring through the mesh
I should just be left alone

9:15 PM
Outcast

They didn't accept her,
They didn't include her.
She was almost unseen,
She was always ignored.

They didn't welcome her,
They chased her away.
She just longed for a friend.
But it seemed impossible.

They were there before her,
All together they came.
But just some time later,
She went there in hope of joy.

They looked at her in distempt,
They thought she was uunworthy.
She thought it was a passing period,
Till she wished that she never came.

9:10 PM
The CCA Sec4 Farewell Party

The farewel party for the sec 4s today was... successful to some sense. But I couldn't stay to clean up. I had something on. Sorry! Anyway, the jelly tarts were so nice. I ate quite a lot but still a lot left. I wanted to eat more but I was freaking bloated. sigh. And the teddy bear thing I did for Jia Rern Xuejie was lame. I feel so guilty.

And guess what they did with the leftover biscuits? And cheese? They dumped some of the leftover biscuits into a bowl, put the leftover cheese on top and poured the jelly. It looked like some bacteria cultivation thingy. Then they had a solid plate filled with Jell-O. it tasted good, though we didn't add sugar. Healthier. Anyway, the remaining biscuits were mashed and mixed with butter and put into a bowl. What a waste. And it was difficult to eat too!


Wednesday, August 20, 2008, 12:03 PM

once mofsad

10:11 AM

Hi teachers! (i wonder if the teachers read my blog.) anyway, i don't post and waste time. i post when i have time. sheesh. although i love to post and sacrifice sleep or break time to do it. oh well.

I ate lots of cheese and biscuits yesterday. And the jelly tart seemed successful...




10:02 AM
Helpless

I feel a sense of helplessness
Welling up inside me.
I really want to run away
Away to where life's easy.

How I wish that time will stop
And allow me to take a rest.
How I want to smile once more
And not cry all the time.

The skies turn black and rain falls down
The hopes are lost and my spirit's gone.
I know that even if the sun's out again
I will forever continue to live in dismay.

7:03 AM
The cat

The cat sat at one side at the top of the stairs, like a stone statue looking over everything happening. Its glassy eyes stared unblinkingly at everyone who passed by, its head turning slowly as if by clockwork. I paused, wary of it. Its head stopped turning, eyes focused and cold. We exchanged stares, mine fearful and its unfeeling. The cat's stare focused on me, penetrated me and followed me as I crept up the stairs, slow and scared.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008, 9:03 PM
Exposed blue

Why did you set my feelings free?
Why can't you just let me be?
Showing the feelings I kept inside,
Exposing what I tried to hide.

When you try to make me insane.
I sincerely pray not to see you again.
But because impossible is so painfully true,
This is exactly why I remain blue.

Please try not to make me tear,
Cause I'll pretend not to hear.
But in my heart it bleeds so bad,
Yet I insist that I'm not so sad.

Why did you set my feelings free?
Why can't you just let me be?
Showing the feelings I kept inside,
Exposing what I tried to hide.

2:31 PM
VEGETARIAN MOCK MUTTON CURRY

Cooking was superbly fun. Although peeling potatoes was hard, actually it was the hardest part, everything went well and according to our time plan. there was quite a lot of curry left in the pot so we poured it into another container, meant for Callie to bring home. She's the only one who hasn't brought home curry that she cooked after all. Chun Shan brought home curry on Sunday. It tasted very very nice. nicer than the extremely milky and not so spicy one on Sunday. woohoo! And the potatoes were SOFT! I didn't kow what to do with the remaining evaporated milk so the auntie put in the fridge saying we can drink it. but i haven't claimed it. oh well.

During LA, Samantha destroyed a table. ok. not destroyed. but she accidentally removed one leg of the table and after much, much, MUCH hard work, put it back it again. lol. x)

Lunch, we got Sarah to eat with us and callie went up with most of the people to eat her curry without bread in the home econs room. Sarah found the mock mutton nice. woohoo! And wanqing and wanlin ate some too. x) It was really really delicious. I ate my fullest lunch in like, 1 month! Actually, it was the first proper lunch on a weekday in a month.

ms lye forgot to go for her lesson with 1/11. O.o She was printing something. That is totally amusing.

I wrote a letter to Jie during chinese lesson, when Liu Lao Shi was trying to convince us that we do not have too much homework. sheesh. we get your point, teacher. We are grateful and appreciative.

Discovered I had to design a pen for the sec 4 seniors. i wanted to do jie's but suddenly, I saw a whole bunch of names beside hers. Why are so many peeps 'fighting' to do it now when no one wanted at first. :( So I'm doing Jia Rern Xuejie's. x) And almost the whole class fell in love with the pen.

P.S. Today, Mrs Wong patted my head. again
P.P.S. I didn't get into PSL. how sad. Amelia says I don't look like i'm sad. have I ever looked sad before? I don't looked sad. No matter what. Even if someone breaks my heart. I'll be happy. always. x)

6:57 AM
bored. to bits.

remembered that there will be a microbes test on friday. crap. anyway, there's home econs today. so yay! but i have to eat curry. again. anyway, jie says that she's too busy and cannot taste it today. oh well. BUT THIS TIME, SHE ISN'T EATING LUNCH! maybe I should get something for her. Something that is simple, quick and easy to eat. perhaps in like, 3 minutes or so. Granola bars are out. I busted my pocket money left for this week on the scarlet ticket(which is already a week's pocket money) and the scrapbook. So perhaps I'll give her some biscuits. oh well. anyway i don't have to spend money on lunch. There'll definitely be curry leftover.

Monday, August 18, 2008, 10:08 PM

I seriously want to change my url but thinking of the people and stuff who have to relink, sigh. never mind. And I'm going to sleep early for a change.

7:48 PM
Hot Shot Ep4

It rocks. totally. It's like the greatest show in the world right now! And no peeps, all three of them are like, shuai in this show. anyway, opinions differ. Anyway, this morning we were like, playing it on the screen and loads of people watched. Now Sarah and TianJiao (hopefully also WanQing) like and want need to watch it. x)

Oh. And my Jap CA5 was not all that good. If i'm lucky, i'll be able to scrape an A. looking forward to tomorrow's home econs. Curry! woohoo!




Sunday, August 17, 2008, 2:50 PM
Raise Your Voice

I just finished watching Raise Your Voice starring Hilary Duff. yea, I know. again. But really, it's simply great. You've just got to watch it. And the songs are simply amazing. especially Someone's watching over me and Jericho. Oh and (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6XEod6usE4&feature=related) the violin solo at the end of this part of the show is simply lovely. Not the boring types you are familiar. And tot$ally pro.

Oh well. Looking forward to Chun Shan and Callie coming to cook curry. And try harder for Jap tonight.


12:49 PM

Leave me alone and stay away,
I don't need you to say everything's okay.
What I was will never be,
This is a different me you see.
When everything crumbles you held fast,
But all our ties are forever past.
We were like sisters so close and dear,
Why now is it you that I deeply fear?

It wasn't you that i did blame,
But for this my heart wasn't game.
You and him were too much to bear,
Just the sight made my heart tear.
If you could just open your eyes and see,
No matter how much you care about me,
Things won't ever be the same
So just go back the way you came.

11:53 AM
embroidered thingy???

suddenly, i have the urge for something. an embroidered cloth, like a handphone screen cleaner, spectacle cleaner or something of those materials. stupid huh? but after pasting the creen protector on my phone, i'm clutching the screen cleaner as if it's some kind of baby.

7:22 AM
Deleted Fanfic

I deleted my Winglin fanfic. The one about Lollipop and Hei Se Hui Mei Mei. Sigh. I realised that there are too many complications and drags in the story. Yea, I have totally give up. That is well, too bad. If anyone wants to read until where I have written, ask for it. I saved it in my computer.

The good thing is I have another idea coming up with so many things popping into my life, Jie, Ge and Cat . perhaps i'll write it in microsoft word. totally before I post.

And no, Crys. I won't give the second-hand 5566 album to you. Get one if you want. They still have loads more there.

12:08 AM
Ion

Can't believe what Cat just called me. She called me 'Ion' (pronounced as ee-yon). That's... new. Not that I don't like it but kinda shocked. I mean, Catherine's just a new cyberspace friend but she actually gave me a nickname that I actually like. I mean, Ion is so much cooler than some other ones like Fifi, Fio, Nanie, Princess Fiona (if you watch Shrek you'll know what princess is about). Cat, you rock.

Saturday, August 16, 2008, 10:05 PM
A Cinderella Story + Bratz

Just finished watching A Cinderella Story and Bratz. Those were chick flicks, yea. But I simply loved them. And I know, I watched it online. No biggie. And I love the soundtracks, just don't know where to download. Trying to download the torrents but I just get some stupid ones.

Speaking about download songs, here are two websites on 4shared you can find some good songs. thanks Amelia.

http://www.4shared.com/dir/4426193/6561c0fe/sharing.html
http://www.4shared.com/dir/2813771/750d8f4d/sharing.html

Right. now about my day. Well, I went for my music lesson this morning. And it was awesome. I improved by a whole lot. Amazing. Then I went to DreaMelody, just to find out I shouldn't have gone. No one mentiond that before. No one. I felt like a total dummy. The whole time. And guess what was in the email they sent a minute ago? I wasn't supposed to go home, yet Janice xuejie told me to.

But anyway, I went back soon after and luckily, Papa was still outside school, reading a newspaper. Then we went to Jurong East, planning to go to the library. But no. We went to the Cash Coverters first and I bought a protector for my phone for like, $1. cool. It's new too. And 5566's 2nd album for $2. x)

Then we went to the library and borrowed books. I'm really into reading stuff with 'chick flick content'. It's appropriate for my age, ain't it? I mean, fantasizing about romance and stuff. Oh well. That was why I went to watch those movies. which are awesome, if I hadn't mentioned.

That's about it. And no, Gah Yarn. I didn't post for you. The feelin's 'bout the same as wanting to write in a diary everyday.

p.s. i think i've developed an accent after watching those movies. for goodness' sake. pray it's temporary. I love my Singaporean accent. mixed with Singlish and all. It's our culture.


4:31 PM
Silence, Emptiness and Confusion


Silence builds an awful wreckage of a girl

It feeds on loneliness and creates a void
Gray shadows haunt and torment and torture
A teenager is stricken and destroyed

There is no sound of laughter or happiness here
The little one has thrown in the towel today
Somber, melancholy moods decay the soul
It is futile to hope and dream and pray

Emptiness builds a home in this woman
In this girl, this child where hollows have bred
A deepening sea of nowhereness consumes
And eats away at every connecting thread

Confusion feeds like a savage inside her,
Leaving nothing considered worthy remains
Destined to walk through life less ordinary
Alone, exiled, different and disdained.

4:15 PM
Insufficient

Like water during a drought,
Like harvest in infertile soil,
Like available trees for paper,
Like land to dump rubbish,
Too little.

Like profits to a big company,
Like donations for the poor,
Like knowledge to a scientist,
Like sweets for a child,
Never enough.

Like everthing I do.

Friday, August 15, 2008, 11:50 PM
Kept in the dark

Today, during rehearsals, i found out that bleep and bleep are dating. And they didn't even tell me. Whereas everyone else knew. Maybe being the youngest did mean one thing - secrets are rarely told to you. hehe.

The moment Jie went to rehearsal, she went to me and asked for the reply to her letter. I re-wrote it because I practically destroyed it. with my horrible drawings. And then she showed me her old phone accessory because she has a new one now. It's those kind you get in Gift A Name. it was what I had intended to give her as a birthday present. but she already has one. so no point. I want to actually make something for her, but don't know what. maybe I can give her something bought from a shop. sigh.

And it was funny. I lost a earring on the floor and Wandong xuejie found the front part of it while I found the other. I told her not to tell the others but she let it slipped. oh well. since I don't have any image at all, it doesn't matter being laughed at for being clumsy or something anymore. Isn't that what I always do? Let people laugh at me to make them smile.

And going home, most of them went through the canteen so as not to be lightbulbs, or gooseberry. But me, not knowing, crazily went along with the two of them, because Jie told me to stay. Luckily I saw So Phia, Chun Shan and Callie because I found the chemistry between the two bleeps a bit fishy. And seriously, i was a gooseberry.

Then Ge went to the bus stop sometime later and although he was standing in front of me, he didn't see me, standing beside so phia. Seriously, he is such a control freak. Why can't Jie sms me? And at that time, i thought I saw someone who looked like Jun Hong clad in PE gear, running into the school with a group of people. I mean, he did look like Jun Hong, with the Jimmy Neutron head and all. But didn't see him appear. so I must have been mistaken.


8:58 PM
Hidden Truths

It was just like passing the present,
the girl wanting to know what's in it.
Everyone knew what was in the package,
But she was excitedly passing it around.
Waiting to see beneath the wrapping paper,
While everyone tried not to let her get it.

It was just like keeping reality from a kid,
And allowing her to believe in Cinderella.
Everyone knew that it was a fairytale,
But she was flipping the pages with glee.
Imagining that Cinderella existed somewhere,
While everyone led her to continue to believe.

When one day, she finally realized,
That she would never get the present,
She discovered that Cinderella,
Only existed in her mind,
And because of who she was,
The truth would be hidden from her.
Forever.

8:29 PM
What do you see?


Can you see her fake joviality?
The real her is no more
She has covered herself up
For far too long

Is that her real skin?
Are those her real eyes?
All of her innocence
Made up of her lies

Her smiles can hide her tears
Her jacket can hide her scars
But when her life falls apart
She'll realise she's gone too far.

When we live life
For others alone
We loose ourselves
In our lies

Just be yourself
Forget the disguise.


9:36 AM
Fouders' Day

Well, the founders' day celebrations were a drag. I mean, i was so excited and stuff but I couldn't see much. The marching thing could not be seen, completely. But the speeches by the boarding school teacher and the chinese teacher was fantastic. Much much more interesting. Seriously, you don't need to go to a slimming salon to stuff yourself in a tub and sweat to lose weight. I sweated a whole bucket full just now. its a miracle I'm not drenched. At least my hair was for a period of time. okok, some parts of my hair.

Then before going to the hall, a few of us snuck back to class to get our bottles. I was bloody thirsty. sorry, can't help swearing. And then I shared my water with the people who didn't bring their bottles. the broadcast was weird. I mean all they said was nce but the design of the thing is lame. I smsed in but prayed that it would not be shown. and yea, it wasn't. whew.

Then i was groaning about not being able to eat much today to Gah Yarn because I have muscle ache around my stomach. And I found out that both Gah Yarn and Tianjiao have the same problem. Along with shoulder aches. Of course, they were part of the team who were always erm... punished. (no offence) and I was part of the team who got last in the last one. I am really pathetic. They did like, ten million situps and pushups of course will keep aching but I only did a mere 15 incorrect and weird pushups. sheesh.

and... happy birthday again hannah.




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7:06 AM
National Museum

omg. the layout of blogger dashboard has CHANGED!!! okok. I'm in school now, yea. And i'll blog about the trip to the National Musuem. but i'll post the pictures only tonight.

Well, yesterday morning, I started arranging the stuff on the noticeboard again. Because Huahua donated some pins fo free to the class. i feel so guilty. I keep forgetting to bring them. But i think that hers will last us this year. if we ned some more next year, then I'll bring mine.

We had BookCart of LA. And i finished my fourth book. But I still like DragonKeeper best. x) Although wait for me was nice too. And then Ms Teng collected our Unseen Prose and I was asking repeatedly if it was graded. Apparently, it's not. She wanted someone to volunteer their piece for her to mark in front of the whole class. After waiting for like, 1 million centuries, I raised my hand. i mean, 很冷、很尴尬嘛!让老师一个人站在那边真的很不舒服。so I volunteered and she was like, "Fiona? You again! Didn't i mark yours the other time?" I was like, "Yes, but no one is volunteering!" Then she decided to shuffle and pick a random one. coincidentally, SHE PICKED MINE! And it was like, a big joke. haha. Although it was still crappy lousy, I think improved.

Anyway, during math, we had this quiz and stuff. And the principal of the china/taiwan high school came to visit and we didn't greet that properly. how shameful.

Then during art, me and chun shan were wondering what we should do because we didn't want to paint out masterpiece [x)]. And wanted to use the computer instead. (at this point of time, many people are watching me blogging. -.-) So we asked mrs Tan and she told us to go to the Macintosh Lab to use. Ping Ghee was already inside, using one of the rare ones which HAD a CPU. And then i tried to find the power button for those which didn't. And yea. like i had blogged, Finding the button was already a miracle, let alone use it. And the USB port was under the cool, mini & chic keyboard. WOW.

Then we had to rush to class to put our stuff and get on the excursion bus. i went to the toilet in a hurry and when I came out, i saw Jie. without her jacket. O.O And walking out, she waved to YuTong and I waved to her, she looked around surprised and i was running back to class. haha. i must've looked as though i was running away from her.

I felt damn really hungry and ate the Oats 'n' honey granola bar. Boy, was it delicious! Well, Hannah ate a plate of Chicken Rice during recess and didn't anything during lunch so I gave her the other granola bar to fill her hungry belly. I mean I cannot 见死不救 what! But I took a picture of them first. x) haha. And took a bite from her, a teeny weeny bite, to see what I tasted like.

then we arrived at the musuem. I will not blog about everything that happened in there, except the msot memorable parts. Like, the swinging chandeliers. Those were superbly amazing. And usually, when a large group goes to a musuem which caters tourists with the digital guide, they don't get the device and the headphones. But the musuem provided each and every one of us with the device. O.o and the Headphones were not those cheap and big ones, but the more expensive small, chic and light ones. gosh. i love Singapore. And the ticketing. You buy tickets from the machines and you slot it into the metal passes (like those in the public pools).

Then I loitered around the ancient gallery and missed most of the Japanese Occupation and the Singapore Political part. sigh. i MUST definitely go again. just to see those parts.


Thursday, August 14, 2008, 11:52 PM
Lies

I'd never thought that you would disappear in my eyes,
I'd never thought that you would ignore all my cries.
But now it seems clear that the truth never lies,
Forcing me to hide myself beneath all the disguise.
After you told me all those words I did finally realize,
What it meant and felt to severe all the precious ties.

11:14 PM

Too lazy to blog today. Just have to say that the museum trip was amazing. totally amazing. And what a pity i didn't get a chance to analyse everything in the Japanese Occupation and the Singapore Political sections.

And I simply loved the granola bar. It was fantastic. I'm so touched. again


2:37 PM
using an iMac

This is seriously amazing. I'm using an iMac for the second time in my whole life. The first time was in Concord Library and i was fiddling with the buttons and the mouse when i gave up and never used an iMac ever again. This time, I'm using. And it's damn amazing. and different. So I'm having trouble trying to edit the peace thingy

12:43 PM
serious shock

Today we watched a cartoon during Chinese. i watched it before. Thanks to my brother. It was something to do with Ghost Festival. I seriously think that 中元节 is really similar to the Catholic All Souls' Day.

But this isn't the main point. The point is, I wrote a letter to 姐 while watching the show and folded it in a different method (copied from Chun Shan's angel letters). I asked Hannah to accompany me to 姐's class to give it to her and upon nearing her classroom, I got cold feet and went back, with Hannah laughing at me looking at me in amazement. Then i really couldn't resist it and sent an sms to 姐, telling her " I wrote a letter to you. but i got cold feet upon nearing your class. how pathetic." I didn't expect her to like, do anything about it except laugh at me or something. And then five minutes later, i received a missed call from yea, 姐. To digress a bit, I rarely answer phone calls in school. SMSes maybe but calls, always miss them. and smsed her to ask why she called me.

I always like to use the computer right? So I asked PingGhee if I can use the computer. She was blog hopping. And at that moment, I looked up and got the shock of my life. 姐 appeared in the doorway, jacket and all. She was grinning (amazing) and asking me for the letter, and telling me to eat up the two granola bars she brought along. I ate a waffle for goodness' sake. And a cup of jelly lime juice. during recess, after PE. Maybe I'll eat one when I'm hungry later. sigh. Although i shall frame it up and keep it as a souvenir.

I'm looking forward to the excursion. And other details shall be blogged tonight.

p.s. i did do the 剧本 synopsis. whew. luckily I had an idea a long time ago. yay! passed my excuse form, my synopsis and my $19 to XinZhuo.


Wednesday, August 13, 2008, 6:59 PM
speech training. woohoo.

Today, I discovered that Qi Ling Wang’s Taiwan version is called Qi Hun when I went to buy book 11 for sarah.

Ok. Let’s start with yesterday. I was like, too lazy to blog. Watching Fated to Love You after not watching for a long long time. I dunno why I started this habit of swearing but I’m trying to get it out of my system. Pronto.

Ok. Yesterday’s Home Econs sewing lesson was a drag. I failed miserably. And sew some weird thing with black thread on the Sewing machine. The right side looked right but the wrong side looked wrong. Sheesh. Here’s a photo of Brenda’s one. Mine looked about the same but black.


Then during CCA, Liu Lao Shi was making us jump like, 200 times alternateing between out feet while exercising our arms. Then I re-destroyed my ankle. Sheesh. And was excused from the lifting people up exercise. It was supposed to build out trust our something. Feiya xuejie injured her butt (for goodness’ sake) and didn’t do it too. She tried to clip her just grown hair (she shaved remember) with Jialin’s clip. But when I tried to take a pic, she took it down. That’s why I’m posting it.



I heard the musical people had recording yesterday. O.O they record ever so frequently. And Ge said he saw me rushing to my bus. Well, I wasn’t exactly rushing. I was busy staring at the bus, whch wasn’t that packed and wondering why XinZhuo wasn’t boarding it. I boarded it anyway. And surely enough, about 5 stops later I got a seat. I really won’t wait 30 minutes for another bus which was bound to be even more packed.

Today’s highlight is… (drum roll please) SPEECH TRAINING! Yay. The teacher was fun. And when we played Simon Says in Chinese (changed to lao shi shuo) I got tricked 5 times and instead of pasting a red sticker (hehe. I only got one that time) He drew stuff on our hands with markers. I haven’t washed it away. Hehe. I got a nice face complete with a smile and ears. Woohoo. I wonder if he would draw some hair next.




During Science, I was damn sian. sorry i just couldn't help swearing. Well, I took this picture.



Then I was damn really tired during LA but forced myself to stay awake. And was staring at my paper the whole time, trying to figure out how to write stuff for the feelings part. And tianjiao, etc were thinking was asleep. X)

I ate a chocolate waffle during Japanese to keep myself awake. And it worked. I resorted to this expensive and fattening means because Jie’s phone had not much battery left and couldn’t sms. Sigh. And Fabian didn’t reply either. Gosh.

And then I helped sarah buy that book and bought the August issue of PLAY. When I walked past the first T-Junction, I noticed the difference in names and went back to ask for a change but then the aunty said it was the same. Then I tried calling sarah twice but she didn’t answer her phone. All I heard was some weird music.

And you know what? When I flipped though the mag just now, I realized two people in it. Jam Hsiao and Elva Hsiao. WHAT’S THE PROBLEM WITH THESE TWO PEOPLE? First I see Jam Hsiao in the PopClub magazine, Elva Hsiao in some newspaper and now both of them in this mag. Gosh. Seriously, I know Ge adores them but I really never heard of their songs. Nor their names. Oh well. (No offence.) To my joy, they gave me like, this huge poster of Lollipop, with the Black Sugar Chivalries on one side and the whole band on the other. Woohoo! They rock. There was even a book on the Black Sugar Chivalries there too. That drama rules. Totally.

And I got my Readers’ Digest. Finally.

Well, I didn’t post so much today because it didn’t matter.

Monday, August 11, 2008, 9:31 PM
Trust




Trust....why should I trust when I lose trust in everyone?
Everyone I trusted has betrayed my trust;
I feel as if trust is but a word with no meaning.
Why should I trust someone when they never believe me?
They say they trust me but it's just a stupid lie.
WHY O WHY should I trust when nobody trusts me?

6:24 PM
New headphones


Look! this is my new headphone! woohoo. because the one my bro gave me (he didn't like it) was spoilt so i bought this one at an extra cheap price of $9.90! And the sound quality is damn good lor, although it doesn't have surround sound. I bought it the PC shop in BPP. My bro brought a new mouse because his spoilt too.

My mum bought a new grinder in Harvery Norman because she's recently gotten infected by Michelle Jie Jie and loves to make fruit jiuce. But our old one (nearly 10 years old but still looks news) isn't that capable anymore. But they didn't have to go buy such an expensive one what. sheesh. I bet I'll be drinking and bringing to school more fruit jiuce by the day. That'll be my lunch bah...
This morning, I was watching 黑糖群侠传 and 篮球火. Those two are amazing. The leads are like, so cute!!! Especially WangZi in the first one. woohoo! I love WangZi and XiaoYu. They are damn cute.
I feel so pissed with myself. I did only one improvisation excercise in one hour. I suck at it. crap. crap. CRAP. If i sing badly, it's expected. But my impro has been so bad this time round that i really can't stand it.
And for the first time in my life, my mum told me she expects me to get a higher grade for a subject. She wants me to get A2 for Chinese. When I just improved from C5 to B4. She put pressure on me for the first time in my life. Am I really not good enough to please her? Perhaps I really need to work harder. And stop feeling so glad. I didn't improve... enough.

11:34 AM
Illusionary


You were just an illusion,
An illusion that I once believed in.
When I first saw you,
I thought you were cold.
When I first talked to you,
I felt afraid of your eyes.

You were just an illusion,
An illusion that I once believed in.
You changed my opinion,
And influenced my thoughts
You always made my day,
no matter what happened.

You were just an illusion,
An illusion that I once believed in.
Perhaps I was wrong to believe,
In that almost perfect you.
Perhaps I should have known,
That I was nothing in your heart.

You were just an illusion,
An illusion that I once believed in.
I thought you were for me,
The person forever supporting me.
I thought we were meant to be,
When I realised who entered my heart.

You were just an illusion,
An illusion that I once believed in.
An illusion that I conjured in my heart,
Based on all the pretences and lies.
For when I spoke my deepest feelings,
That illusion would remain a wounded memory.

10:49 AM
Rejected


You were the kind
Who'd never show emotion
But my eyes were blind
when I gave you my devotion
I thought you were perfect
I gave up my heart and soul to you
And I never even supected that you would leave me
Rejected

I know how stupid I am
To fall into your traps again
I should'nt have gotten so carried away
With thoughts and dreams that you would stay
I gave you all you expected
And then you left me
Rejected

You saw my cry but you never really seemed to care
I watched you lie
But still I was unaware
I thought that I'd lost everything
You broke my whole heart in two
And though i loved you
Through all of your imperfections
Till you left me
Rejected

And now youve come back to me
Begging me to please see
That you're in love with me
So I'm doing the unexpected
Seeing all your imperfections
And then I'll leave you
Rejected

10:33 AM
Smashed Heart

You gave me your heart, I smashed it.
You gave me your trust, I failed it.
I know I've let you down, I can't deny it.
But I didn't have a choice, I can't keep my promise.

Leaving might be the best for both of us.
But just so you know, you made a mark in my life.
I don't want to let you go, but it's fate.
Don't be sad; let me keep the happy memories.

12:10 AM
me.

No one knows. Even when I tell them.
No one understands. They just don't bother.
No one cares. They all have people more important than me.
I'm always alone.


Sunday, August 10, 2008, 6:42 PM
篮球火

兴致一来,突然想看《篮球火》。果然,超赞的!Jerry, Alan 和吴尊都超帅的!我以前以为Jerry很

丑,因为他在《流星花园》造型很丑很丑。但现在,真的很帅。吴尊也不gay。真的很帅。剧情也

很刺激,音乐更棒。 Amelia说得没错,真的很好看。虽然蛮像MVP情人,但是更好。



12:51 PM
bored xuejie.

Zhuoya xuejie is bored and wants me to entertain her. Goodness. I'm not an entertaner. But I can't bear people to do that and ignore them. crap.

from talking to her, i realised something. i know a person who tells someone to keep a secret yet he himself spreads it. (note that 'he' is a general term). And seriously. which idiot goes around telling people who knows his/her crush that he/she likes him/her?

10:40 AM
Wild Wild Wet and Michelle 姐姐's house

Yesterday, Wild Wild Wet had a discount so we went. But it was damn crowded. Luckily my birthday is not over yet, so I could still buy the children's ticket. I don't want my birthday to come.

In Downtown East, there were those kind of erm… castle like thing. Damn nice. To see I mean. It’s for little kids after all.




Ok. Back to wild wild wet. The playground was damn fun. There was the bucket thing which spills water! Yea, anyone who has been there will know what I’m talking about. Then we went to ride in the river. It was fun. I didn’t use the floats. I’d fall asleep. I just floated and swan around. Kinda felt like a fish. Because it was crowded with floats and people, I dived under floats and swam. Carefree. I love that kind of feeling. We saw the Foam Pool. And went there.

They used soap water to make a whole pool of foam and let some people in at a time. It was damn fun and I threw bubbles around like snow fight. And when the machiense blew out more foam, I stood under it and was totally covered but held my hands up on my forehead as if making a roof and that allowed the foam not to cover my face. Really, there was this time when I almost couldn’t get out. The foam was that thick but of course there was air. X) I got trapped in for like, 5 minutes until I fell out of it.

Then we went to Ulah Lah. It was damn fun. I still loved it. It wasn’t bumpy and uneven, unlike the one in A Farmosa water theme park. It was thrilling but safe. Then me and dad wanted to sit on the water Viking thingy. But the queue was far too long. So we gave up.不然我等到发霉了也没得玩。

The rain was threatening every now and then. And I was praying, It’s National Day, please don’t rain. Then me and dad went to find my bro in the wave pool, titled Tsunami. It was real fun. I didn’t use floats or life jackets. I swam again! X) and they provided a big ball for everyone to play with together. Some people were like, hogging but Yea, I swam under them and got it away. Woohoo!

Then me and my bro went to sit the slides. The higher one which was tunneled. The queue was also damn long. I have three words to say about it – The roof leaks. Okok. Joke. But it was true. It was funny too. People make weird noises in while they were in the slide. And the life guard who operated it kept kicking water and splashing people. I got it full in the face once. And one person had a foot water fight with him! It was bloody hilarious. And someone used a watergun to spray him. My bro made really funny noises which lasted for a long time. He sounded like a tortured creature. Everyone laughed. I didn’t make any noise. at all. yet they laughed too. O.o

My dad was waiting downstairs. I made up a poem.

我们在上面等到发霉,

还是没得玩。

爸爸在下面等到皱眉,

变得不耐烦。
Haha.

Anyway, then we went to the cycling thing because mum was asleep at the deck chairs. And then the queue was also damn long. When I was finally our turn, my bro sat on the inside one and I sat on the outside one. He cycled damn fast and when we reached a turn, I was bloody scared, because my side would tilt downwards a little as if it was falling. And my bro’s side was like, nothing. SO he was high and I was begging him to slow down. So I braked and it slowed down A LOT. Whew. Then He got tired and I was the only one cycling, slowly. Lalala.

By the time we finished, we went to bathe and the toilets were already crowded. Crap. But it was clean and amazingly, there were racks. X) I love the toilet. Anyway, when I finished, it was pouring outside and people couldn’t swim anymore. I was so sad. But held faith that a little rain won’t spoil our National Day spirit. We went home. Too bad I couldn’t take photos while we were bathing.

Then when mum and dad went upstairs to get the mock meat for the steamboat at Michelle jiejie’s house, they left me and bro in the car, assuming we were asleep but I couldn’t sleep. My bro was making a hell of time for me. I mean, he tortured me. And annoyed me. And irritated me. I felt like, murdering him. Who would pull the seat belts so much until they nearly spoilt? Who presses the horn for fun like so many times? And my mum had a headache but I pestered them to come downstairs, or else their daughter would have to be sent to Woodbridge and their car would need to be scrapped.

My bro cooked a side dish at Michelle jiejie’s house with her help. Vegetarian cereal prawns. I was damn delicious. His cooking has always been better than me, just that I remember steps better. Anyway, it was delicious and we watched the NDP. It was fantastic! I simply loved it. Not just the fireworks but also the aerial display, the marching and stuff. After the NDP, we watched Alvin and the chipmunks. It was real nice. And funny. Then we watched a bit of Top Gun. It was nice and for the first time, I realized Tom Cruise is cute. Then we went home at like, 11.30. Sigh. I wanted to go there for a sleepover but my mum’s traditional. “no sleepovers”. Until I’m like 21? I can go home at 12 midnight but never overnight. What the crap.

While I was watching Alvin and the Chipmunks, I was chatting with Ge on Lawrence kor kor’s laptop. Yea, Michelle jiejie and Lawrence kor kor are like, husband and wife. But when I watched Top Gun, it was just too fascinating, minus the censored parts which are damn irritating. Waste of time. And when I looked at the com, I realized my bro has been crapping to Ge. -.- So I smsed him and warned him that my bro loved to make up stories. and please don’t tell my bro too much. And as expected, guess what my bro said? Lame shit.