depresión desesperación I have been hurt
Wednesday, April 28, 2010, 9:08 PM
I'll stand by you always.

Fabian, I was intending to write a poem, dedicated to you. But thinking about what you've just told me rendered me useless in penning any good literature.
I don't know. Is it because our worlds are too far apart that I don't know how to comfort you? Everytime you tell me you're facing with a new difficulty, or when you are feeling down, I don't want to leave you alone. But what can I do? I thought I could do or say things to help you feel better, but I realised that what I've been doing isn't helping you that much.
Fabian, you have a special personality that makes you stand out from the rest. Some people might not see the good in you at first, but that is because that don't know you well enough. I didn't particularly have a good impression of you before, but now we've become friends, I really appreciate your sensitivity. Perhaps it is just because you consider each and every friend very important to you that you get hurt so easily. It isn't your fault; you put in your heart and sincerity to your friends, they just don't know how to treasure it. We're still young and can't deal with situations well. But you've got to overcome them. Or you will continue getting hurt.
You might not trust me that much, but you're the one person I feel comfortable enough to tell everything. It isn't about not seeing you in real life, interacting only virtually. Because if that's the case, I'd have many such friends. You're a special friend to me, and it's because of your sensitivity and your personality, whether you believe or not. Just to let you know, whatever happens, I'll be there for you.
When everybody else doesn't appreciate you, I'll stand by you, always. Trust me.

8:44 PM

During the student interview with Mrs Amy, she said that "You know, you're Fiona. To us, Fiona is mature. Fiona can solve all her problems herself."

I didn't know I give people such an impression. (People, this is where you comment.) Do I seem like I can solve all my problems myself? Reflecting on it, seems like for a long time, it's what I've been doing. Whatever happens, I don't like bringing problems home and telling them to my parents, unless it's very important decisions. But I don't like standing alone, makes me feel... like the centre of the universe, trying to comfort people, but with no one to comfort me.
Chinese paper... was hard. It wasn't anything I prepared for and I think I 偏题. Although the 私函about虐待动物, I did prepare for abit of it; the 17岁新加坡海外留学生 who got “影响全球华人”奖,I didn't hear about it, but what I wrote was abit similar to Ping Ghee, who actually read that article, so hopefully it wouldn't fail too badly.
Got back Geography paper. Ser Yeen and JunHui got 1st, with 21/25. I got... what I had initially expected, predicting my marks after doing the paper. It wasn't too bad, 19/25. Minused 4 marks for not doing part (ii) and (iii) for Q2, and 2 marks from 2nd page. Thus, I shall try even harder for my other assignments and pull my grades up again. The real worry is Ching Yan. She's been failing her Geography, and I don't know what I can do to help her. So I offered to help go through her assignments before she hands them in, but I can't guarantee the standard; I'm not teacher. And... XiaoJing, jiayou. You can do it, don't feel too sad. At least you tried your best, that's the most important point.

Monday, April 26, 2010, 9:00 PM

Today... should be quite good. Like Junhui said, the day flew by, for some reason. Perhaps it was because sitting with XiaoJing ends up talking to her for the entire lesson, especially Chinese. I did listen to whatever 康老师 said though, have notes for proof. Just talked at some points in time. Talking in class really needs a certain amount of skill; you've got to listen (or at least pretend to), take notes (legible and useful ones) and even if the teacher sees you talking, get the impression you're 'discussing'.


翻译:今天,日文课真的很有趣。河西先生(Kawanishi Sensei)真的很好笑,爆笑事件也特别多。练习的时候,华中的男生写了“看见华文老师时,真的像一双筷子!”



Sunday, April 25, 2010, 8:51 AM

We won't draw parellel lines
Because we intersected once.

I thought we were perpendicular lines,
Once apart. Meet. Then going further away.

I thought best be two quadratic curves,
Intersecting not once but twice.

You said we were y=x.
The y-axis is different from the x-axis,
But what am I without you?
What are you without me?
We'd be different, but the same.
Never leaving each other.

I'm not afriad for the whole world to know,
Ever since I met you, I changed in ways I don't realize.
But we met, and separated,
At our life's crossroads.

Would there be another bend for us to meet again?
Only fate knows.
But now, there's technology.
No matter how far away you maybe,
We will forever be together, the same.
Just like y=x.


Friday, April 23, 2010, 9:34 PM





再见。 我后悔了。


Thursday, April 22, 2010, 10:47 PM

Today, I went to be a student official for heats. But that isn't what I'm going to blog about.

After the heats, I went home, by bus. It was really crowded, but I managed to snag a seat. I was pouring outside though. As usual, I sat down, listening to my MP4 and fell asleep.

Somewhere halfway through the journey, there was this aunty who poked me and said, "小妹妹,不要睡觉,不然会跌倒。”


7:31 PM







Monday, April 19, 2010, 4:40 PM

it's ridiculous. How can i finish learning Sorry Sorry by tomorrow? hopefully, I only need to learn the front part. Or I'd die.

Today's IH was really education. Hehe. Spot on, man. Hopefully I'll do better.

7:13 AM
IH Block Test 1 2010

okay. wish me luck. Let's hope I do better in this one.

Sunday, April 18, 2010, 4:45 PM




2:31 PM

Where darkness reigns, she lives;
Where the sun shines, she suffers.
She wants to hide, to run away,
and avoid the gaze of the world.

From rainbow to greyscale,
She has faded with time.
Perhaps she's only a mirage,
A mere shadow of herself.


Friday, April 16, 2010, 3:56 PM

A whole bunch of them left. To Fudan. I get to go in october/november. Woots.

But I'm worrying a lot about geography and IH. Serious. Didn't get to finish Geography. And going home took a long time. very long time...

I planned to blog a lot today, even what to say, and all. But waiting for the bus for an hour or so made me so exhausted, now I have forgotten all I wanted to express.

Happy Birthday, Wanlin. Loving pink is nice and all, but I've decided to put this little bit of colour into your life!

Happy B Day

Thursday, April 15, 2010, 6:26 PM
To 敬爱的朋友






2:07 AM

A friend told the girl, "You're far more suitable for it! She doesn't deserve it at all."

The girl knew it was supposed to be encouraging and a compliment, yet all she could do was to fight back tears, and think, "Why didn't I do better then?"

Wednesday, April 14, 2010, 3:48 AM

I want to run away.
But I have nowhere to go.

Monday, April 05, 2010, 8:39 PM