depresión desesperación I have been hurt
again
Tuesday, February 24, 2009, 12:05 AM
堕落星光

在黑暗中没有阳光,
而只有微弱的星光。

也许世界是那黑暗,
让每件事那么黯淡。
我想做闪闪的星星,
不再让世界那么冰。

不过社会漆黑一片,
夺走我存在的意念。
我想夺回我的世界,
让梦想的希望磨灭。

在残酷的黑暗无光,
只有一道堕落星光。

Sunday, February 22, 2009, 6:15 PM
雨是眼泪

雨点的滑落,怎么那么像我的泪水?
终于相信天气预告,说今天会下雨,连我的心也跟着下雨。

想起六十六年前所留下来的伤痕,带给我们的黑暗,原来那么痛。因为我知道,我现在的痛只不过是他们的万分之一。但万分之一的痛对我这个温室里的小花跟刮风暴雨一样地残忍,一样的痛苦。

原来陈威廉的世界是那么地可怕,那么地充满恐惧。面对这样的黑暗,我会疯。面对心理的黑暗,我已濒临崩溃的悬崖,不用说连周边的世界也成为了无止尽的黑暗、恐惧、痛苦。不,我会死。

原来黑暗的痛苦那么地让我恐惧,让我失去理智。可是我这么做,不是为了让前程一片光明吗?那为何现在我的明天却一天比一天地黯淡无光,一天比一天充满绝望的黑暗……这是我当初梦寐以求的吗?我得到的到底是什么?


Friday, February 20, 2009, 11:35 PM
Exodus - Julie Bertagna



Just read a bok titled Exodus by Julie Bertagna. It's not from the Bible, but a science fiction story set in 2099. It's so sad... Fox and Mara should be together. Poor Fox, just a brave and brilliant guy. If I were Mara, I'd fall in love with him too. Jiayou, Fox.

Maybe it's why I named myself Vixen in the first place.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009, 10:24 PM
OLYMPIAD ROCKS

I seriously love maths and science olympiads. On Tuesday, Maths Olympiad was about Modulus. Boy, was it easy! It was the first lesson where I could solve one whole question by myself ad not getconfused the entire lesson through. Good news is that we're going to be doing that again next week! And ChunShan finally found out that WanQing's idea of fun is when she can solve math problems by herself.

Science Olypiad today was even better. Hannah and I were a little late. And Mr Kuo was doubtfully asking himself if I was absent last week, which I was so not. Anyway, he started teaching us Atomic Structure. Yea, yea.I know what you're thinking, electron shells. Nope. He started off by comparing atoms like a weirdly-shaped HDB flat.

The 1st floor has a 1-room flat with one room and each room has 2 people. No, in Singapore, not only 5-room flats, executive flats, condos, terrace houses and bungalows exist. There are 1-room flats too for the poor. Did you watch 《一房半厅一水缸》? Next, The 2nd floor has a 1-room flat and a 3-room flat, with each room having also 2 people. The 3rd floor has a 1-room flat, a 3-room flat and a 5-room flat. The 4th floor has a 1-room flat, a 3-room flat, a 5-room flat and a 7-room flat. So it's a bit like a HDB flat shaped like an upside down triangle with it's tip cut off. haha. And part of the 3rd floor is higher than part of the 4th floor. Sounds stupid? Yep. It is. x) And electron configuration is not 2.8.3 anymore. It's much more complicated. WOOTS. And I can understand it. I totally love Mr Kuo and Chen Olympiad. He's such a good teacher, although I laugh too much during his lesson.

And I love Mr Lim Kok Boon too. He drew a portrait of MM Lee!!! And he thinks MM Lee is his idol, and the real Singapore Idol. MM Lee Kuan Yew should get a Nobel Prize!!! He rocks.

And during his speech about art and art pieces which portray death, he said this: Rich people spend lots of money to remind themselves that life is short.


Saturday, February 14, 2009, 9:32 PM
ROM in a HDB flate

WOOTS! 我被录取了!我是早报学校体育记者了!等了这个消息等了很久了!期待随着每天过去慢慢增加,越来越有把握一定会拿到,直到耐性崩溃那天,信心慢慢你下降,深怕期望越大,失落的伤害会越深。不过今天的那一封信带给我一丝希望,让我有达成目标的希望了。

I went to someone's ROM today. The ROM official went to his house! And it was like, so sweet. When the groom was to kiss the bride, all the kids were looking on excitedly, hoping they would see a French Kiss live. Only I was hiding behind my mum's back, because seeing it real and on TV is two different things.

Then during the buffet, which was totally delicious, the bridegroom said that the bouquet of flowers (12 roses and many decorative flowers) was $80, very expensive. For a bouquet as pretty as that one then, it was cheap already lah! And he only wants to take one wedding photo to save money and for honeymoon, he only wants indoors. Oh. he wants to find a $1000 camera man, WHERE GOT SO CHEAP ONE! anyway, he is such a cheapskate, wanting to borrow wedding gowns from the married women there. I finally realise why so many Singaporean females don't marry Singapore Males. Because they are not worth it! His bride is an Indonesian Chinese. I pity her.

I'm comparing 哥s with melody. haha. She says my 哥 is far more shuai than hers. Haha. And yea, my 哥 is nicer compared to hers based on our description. x) woots! Although I haven't spoken to 哥 in a long time... Her 哥's MSN account just sent her lots of disturbing messages which traumatized her badly, until he smsed her explaining that some friend of his was sending the messages. I told Melody to threaten them to stop with suing them for sexual harrassment. And she says Jie is so pretty. x)


Wednesday, February 11, 2009, 6:18 PM
Angels

Toda was absolutely... It was philo lesson and 212 were like, so glad to see Ms Chia but then Mr Lee told us that he had to take over the lesson. And teach us about Rosa Parks. While JunHui and I were doing the points of view of different people (a policeman who thinks Rosa Parks has every right to stay put, a bus driver who thinks the whole incident was just troublesome, the blacks who think that Parks disrupted their lives by initiating the boycott and whites who pity Parks) and suddenly I heard noises. Like male voices echoing and somehow sounded like they were singing. JunHui 一口咬定 that I was hallucinating.

Then I heard voices again. But this time, they were female. I was laughing and laughing and JunHui was like, urgh. You're hearing voices. I joked that perhaps I heard angels who were coming to bring me to heaven and if something happened to me, help me give the presents to Tiffany. And I'm hearing heavenly voices singing hymns. Mr Lee walked by and asked us what we were discussing about, and JunHui told him I was hearing voices. He was like, uh... Then I heard voices again, but I could no longer tell whether they were male or female. And I told JunHui and Mr Lee. He said, "Fiona, sometimes when we will ourselves t hear something, we will hear it." I know that alright, but the problem is that I was willing myself not to hear them.

Then JunHui heard it. And the second time we heard it together and laughed outselves hysterical. Mr Lee was shocked and JunHui was calming down but I was still clutching my sides, tears streaming down from laughing too hard and he was like, "chill!" Between laughs, I forced out words that told him we heard it together and apparently, no one else did; they were too absorbed in reading about Rosa Parks.

During lunch, I found out where those voices came from. The hall where Mr Chia was having a PE lesson.

Monday, February 09, 2009, 10:50 PM
自己找答案

1. Put iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 or more friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Four Minutes - Madonna Ft. Justin Timberlake
(Haha. I always say something like that.)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
What It Takes - Lola
(Nice answer.)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
真的,我没事 - 符致逸
(For once, I'm not emo. =])

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
沙斯比亚的天分 - 林俊傑
(不会吧!我这么想要做第一名?)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
OOXX - 黑Girl
(O.o)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
So Small - Carrie Underwood
(FINE! I'm short.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
残念 - 周渝民
(hehe... quite true. For my mum.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
黑暗的沼泽 - 一枝梅 OST
(Yea yea. I'm emo often. And I'm always awake at night, so I was think about 黑暗 which is in front of me.)

WHAT IS 2+2?
你应该被珍惜 - 飞轮海
(now... what has this got to do with 2+2?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Remembrance - Save Your Last Dance For Me OST
(Tiffany... I miss you...)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
幻灭 - 爱情魔发师 电视原声带
(It's rather true.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Don't Forget - Demo Lovato
(Right. Like I'd forget. But you better don't.)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
女皇 - 石欣卉
(Woots! Queen Fiona. Hang on... Isn't that Princess Fiona promoted? NOOOOO!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
你是坏人 - 杨丞琳
(Haha. Yea. You're so bad.)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
碎碎念 - 罗志祥
(Maybe that's why they feel the need to nag...)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
在这里等你 - F4
(Waiting for me here? So sweet.)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Unlove You - Ashley Tisdale
(Good. Then they won't feel sad if they don't love me anymore.)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
偷偷爱 - 花样少年少女
(Right. I like to have crushes on people. -.-)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
谢谢你的温柔 - S.H.E.
(THANKS PEOPLE!)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Lucky - Britney Spears
(so... does that mean my life's gonna be better than luck everyday?)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
不想离开 - 张栋梁
(I don't want to die....not now anyway.)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Two Worlds Collide - Demi Lovato
(End of the world!!!)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Firefly - TheA-Teens
(Fly firefly!)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
微笑的約定 - 李宣榕
(this is a relatively sad song...)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
姻缘 - 一枝梅OST
(Good Answer. Depends on destiny.)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
No Air - Jordin Sparks ft Chris Brown
(I don't like unforeseen futures faraway.)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
可惜不是你 - 梁静如
(Haha. Let's hope he reads that.)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
爱上未来的你 - 潘玮柏
(怎么可能?)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?

Heart - 张栋梁
(right. I'm sad because I'm remembering the sad events.)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
自己找答案 - 卓文萱
(OMG! HAHA.)


Saturday, February 07, 2009, 8:22 PM

Ay! Why didn't I receive an invitation to the Friends of the Library party! I feel so sad. Maybe I should go do more CIP hours and get the invitation. Wanqing has one.

And I refreshed my memory on why I'm horribly afriad of small 'lil kids. I know I've been one before. Don't harp on that.

Going home on Friday, I finally realised that food comes before other people in some people's eyes. There was two packets of food beside this old uncle and seeing all the squeezing into the bus and I was mashed into roti prata again, he took it up and we hopefully saw that as a chance for someone to get a seat but no. He didn't move in or anything, he just opened the packet to check the contents and sniffed it, then put it back. O.o And I met a girl from 203, who said that I was famous in their class for my Lang Arts storytelling last year. That was creepy. She remembered my name. O.o And... I, being such a forgetful person, has already forgotten hers... boohoo...


Wednesday, February 04, 2009, 9:15 PM

不知道什么是终点
一切未来也看不见
处在崩溃的悬崖边
等待希望出现那天

sounds nice? Well... nothing much happened today, just that I got home early as school dismissed at 12.05pm. JunHui was grumbling all day, annoyed she couldn't get home earlier. Hey. your turn sometimes, my turn sometimes, ok?

Anyway, not much to blog about, just that there's a dwarf planet in the Solar System called Makemake. What a cute name!




Tuesday, February 03, 2009, 10:51 PM
Determined Realist


Take the free personality test!
Determined Realist (DR)


Determined Realists like to bear responsibility and welcome challenges. They are stable, reliable persons. External contacts are very important to them; they mix well and are very active. They are excellent organisers and are very happy when things are done correctly and punctually; they can quickly react impatiently if others are not as conscientious, orderly and dutiful as they are. They prefer structured work which produces visible results quickly to abstract, long-drawn-out processes. Determined Realists have no problem with routine as long as it serves efficiency. However, they very much dislike unexpected and unpredictable occurrences which mess up their careful plans. Once they have committed themselves to a cause they do this with dedication and are willing to make considerable sacrifices for it.


Determined Realists do not avoid conflicts and criticism but face up to them and look for solutions. As they have a keen eye for the errors and shortcomings of others and are often quick at expressing criticism, they sometimes rub people up the wrong way especially when they lose their temper and jump to conclusions. Due to their marked sense of justice they are quickly willing to correct themselves and never take offence if someone speaks to them frankly. You do not have to seek hidden motives with them; you always know where you are. Determined Realists are often found in executive positions as they combine commitment, competence and the ability to assert themselves. In their spare time, they often also accept responsibility in clubs and other institutions.
The Determined Realist at work

As a Determined Realist, you are one of the extroverted personality types. You enjoy working in a team as a colleague or a team leader. Because you have an outgoing nature, you approach others easily and openly; working in solitude by yourself would be punishment for you. You know how to appreciate a harmonic working climate, but the relationship to your colleagues is not as important to you as to some of the other personality types. For you, the task always comes first and your colleagues and/or superiors are second. As long as everybody is working as disciplined and determined as you are, everything is just fine.

However, if you sense that the work is suffering from irrelevant disputes or private matters that have nothing to do with the job, you have no problem expressing your criticism, and making your team toe the line. It would never occur to you to sacrifice a good result in your work on the altar of personal moods, or in favor of a conflict free environment. On the other hand, you are one of the personality types who is best at handling criticism, and swallow negative feedback without brooding or sink into depression. Consequently, you also can hold your ground in professions where the climate is a little rougher and more competition oriented.

You are an excellent organizer, and a genius at planning and maintaining a workflow that is precise and on time. You enjoy dealing with details and facts, developing rules and guidelines, and establishing standards. Here, your natural sense for systematic and love of order prove to be advantageous; as well as your acute aptitude to see the most efficient of all possible approaches.

The Determined Realist in love

Your personality type belongs to the most loyal and most faithful types. Even though you are able to fall in love head over heels if the stars are properly aligned, recklessness in dealing with your feelings, and those of others, is totally foreign to you. A relationship is a very important obligation for you. You take it very seriously, and give it a very important place in your life. You are not scared off with sentences like “until death does us part”; on the contrary.

Security, responsibility, and stability are very important to you, and you strive for a permanent personal relationship. For that reason, you are very comfortable in the established traditions such as marriage and family. Once you make a promise, one can be sure that you’ll do everything in your power to keep it, and this especially applies to matters of love. Especially in the “tough days” of a marriage, you turn out to be your partner’s invaluable harbor. You expect the same from him/her. Unfaithfulness and flightiness are going to hurt you more than most other types. Just remember that when the time comes to choose a partner, because not all personality types are as consistent as you need your partner to be.

Determined Realists like you are well grounded, and are much too sober and smart to think that in a long-term relationships, everything is going to be rosy. You are aware that highs and lows are a part of love and life, and difficult times are not going to make you unsure or discouraged. Instead of unending passion, trust, and a deep and continuing friendship between you and your partner are important to you because you know that these feelings are better suited to weather the turbulence of everyday life. Your contribution to the relationship primarily are continuity, and absolute devotion to your partner and your family. Your sense of purpose, and your need to take charge are also evident in the way you deal with your partner. You are probably the organizer, manage most of everyday life, and are in charge of your social contacts as a couple or family, as well. This does not mean that you want to be particularly dominating; you just have a pretty good notion of how things are supposed to work, and you just implement them without hesitation.

OK. I took the personality test. Don't really feel like blogging today. so... I just say I'm totally pissed that I forgot to bring my wallet and couldn't watch the four feathers on the dvd.

And get well soon to people who are sick: Zest, Ping Ghee, Vanessa. That's all I could remember. Sorry. But if you're sick too, Get well soon. Sleep more and drink more water. And if it gets worse, see a doctor.


10:26 PM
Once more, An Apology

Sorry Jasmine. Didn't mean to talk about you behind your back. Just that when I was blogging, I was thinking about it and by the next day I saw you, I forgot totally. I'm that kind of people who sleep and forget everything.

I agree that you have a right to air your views, you're paying for it anyway. And that you have a right to choose colours. but when everyone thinks it's alright and only you seem to disagree, please be like, erm... satisfied if everyone else doesn't change it especially for you. That was what I wasn't so... pleased with. Like everyone else thinks lime green is fine, but you wanted 'green'. See the difference? Maybe you thought green was nice. I don't know. I'm being very subjective here. Sorry. Perhaps I just had an impulse to write all those and didn't think properly. I'm really sorry for that.

And I cannot disagree with you on many of your views. Can't remember all of them, but some were actually logical. Although many people disagreed too. So, I'm sorry for looking at things from only my perspective and not in your shoes. But I do actually remember that each person has her own preferences and opinions, I'm not going to object to you using your right, just being very over-reacting to the many many opinions you had, especially about the fonts. And I understand that not everyone likes the same things I do. Sorry for voicing out my selfish views like that without informing you or thinking about your feelings. Please forgive me, I'm really sorry for offending/hurting you.

And as you said, you don't read my blog. So you probably won't see this. But it feels a bit better to my conscience, making an apology where the offence happened. Sorry, hope you won't take it to heart.


Monday, February 02, 2009, 10:07 PM
The best day ever!

Today was one of the best days so far! Apart from the phototaking in the morning and the part where I forgot to bring (and do) my art.

PE was fantastic! We actually played netball, minus shooting the hoops. But anyway, the team I was first in had no strength at all, a little unbalanced. Then Ms Sabrina swapped us around and ta daa! It was rather ok. No one really went to remember how many points we scored, i think. there were two line markers, who were people who could only stand at the sidelines and we had to pass to both of them before we could score. And the could move anywhere on the sidelines. I was supposed to do attacking but then I kept defending most of the time, defending Wanlin with the correct T-defence. WanQing said I seemed to be the only one who actually applied what I learnt to my playing, but isn't learning all about applying?

The game started off by all of us crowding in one court, when we, the whites, finally discovered that we were attacking the other side, and then the whole crowd gradually shifted over to the other end of the court, which was dumb. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO SPREAD OUT. but it was still extremely fun! I blocked two balls from defending tallies like WanLin and Danielle and WanQing (for 5 seconds). One was like, I wasn't paying much attention and then saw the ball flying to wanlin so I ran and jumped and woopsie! I got the ball. By chance. And then pass lor. I got to touch the ball many times, because I kept jumping around and escaping my defenders, so many times the ball got to me because I wasn't defended. x) But the other team was pro too. defending was super, although everybody squeezed into one court was kinda crowded.

Then we had drills. Split into groups of 4s. I was with Brenda, Hannah and Gah Yarn. Can you see the irony? A shortie among 3 tallies. But anyway, we had so much fun! Like, we took turns pairing and defending and both teams were fanastic, just that we could attack well but not good at defending. And Gah Yarn and I shot one hoop! Woots! I love basketball even more now. Dunno why. haha. Hope that Youth Group will have basketball sometimes, even for the girls, not always the boys. Perhaps I'll really start growing taller!

Science was... okay... The lunch was like chiong! Wanqing said I was dreadfully helpful today. Like I'm usually not helpful! And Lynn found out who I am, and she's a bit disappointed. not like what she dreamt of. My dear girl, sorry for being such a disappointment, but dreams never come true. Anyway, she gave me some gummies, but there's gelatine inside, so I gave to Callie because she has very little for lunch. Sorry Lynn, 你的好意我心领了。

Everything went like blah blah blah until Class Contact TIme. Jasmine has really lots of opinions on the class t-shirt leh! Although some opinions are quite good, but most are not of much importance and there's no one to back up your objection! no offence, but 我憋不住了!I don't think you'd read my blog anyway.

Japanese was fun. I like, didn't sleep at all and I know for sure it's not thanks to the coffee. Although the second half I was a bit sleepy but i still paid attention and that was due to an intense headache caused by i think heat. I was wearing my jacket as my blouse ripped at the side. sheesh. anyway, there was this guy, Brian, who came in for one lesson. This girl from our jap class threw (emphasis here.) him a note which was crumpled and anoynymous, saying if he was from her tuition class. how lame. BUT it was so funny lor. totally.

One the way home, I walked with xinzhuo and xuedi. I asked xuedi a very stupid question: are you taking jap or french. SHE'S IN MY CLASS. omg. Anyway, the mrt was stupidly crowded and we missed one at buona vista, and I was so not going to miss another one at Juong East, so I 硬硬挤 inside the next one at jurong east and 'disappeared' inside the crowd near the door. Heard them saying, "wah. Fiona can squeeze in lah. She's... er... disappeared somewhere inside." Yep, I was sandwiched between four people and couldn't move or fall at all. What a wonderful experience! There was this really sexy woman, all elegant and stuff, who had a terrible B.O. And another guy infront who kept staring at me and my school crest on my uniform. What's wrong with me that you have to stare? It's rude. :( I was so stressed that I was bringing shame on NYGH that I was standing so properly and all. Oh! And I saw this super nice dark forest green tee which said "spread vegetarianism"


Sunday, February 01, 2009, 8:49 PM
没人要的小孩

Morning: woke up and found out that the CD couldn't be copied properly. Was stressed because I had many things to do, but I had to go to Youth Group to 捞余生. ZhiXuan was saying that he wanted to go, but I didn't want him to.

Youth Group: Tried to do math, but failed. because maths olympiad is far too hard. Wanqing, you're so pro. Walked home sadly, emo the whole time.

Afternoon: Went home and found out there was no lunch for me, and Mummy and Zhixuan were going out for lunch while I had to stay home to complete my homework. And when I ate some new year goodies, ZhiXuan kept saying I'm fat and over weight and I 偷吃年货.

While they were out: Amelia tried to calm me down, but it didn't work. Only the drums from the malay wedding downstairs made me feel better. And when I went to 陈坛主's house to get aloe vera, 副坛主 gave me this pretty bag and clothes that YiHui didn't want. The clothes were horrible. Walking home, I saw Malcolm waiting for a taxi to go visiting with his mum and brother and doing his lion dance moves for his family. It was hilarious and so cute. Went upstairs and cooked bland maggie noodles for lunch. Lost all my appetite.

When they were back: First thing he did when he fund out I was given a bag and clothes was to barge into my room, something I hate, and open all my drawers and closet. I threw him out and slammed my door, locking it. Then he kept saying I ate too much, and whenever I went to take a snack to destress, he would call out that 贻珍在偷吃 and Mum would give me a lecture on 减肥. Then I was blamed for everything I did because Mummy couldn't sleep properly and all, was in a bad mood and when I tried to defend myself, i was taken as 顶嘴 and scolded even more. Then I cried to myself in my room, while trying to complete my japanese. Then I vented everything on my organ and wanted to go to Lot 1 to change the VCD dancing with wolves but found out they were out again, paying a visit to our neighbours and having a good time. I went to look for them but when I got there, he kept saying “你很像只是来吃年货的。”、“你来讨红包的!” and “你不是要出去?快滚啦!”in such a mean and snide way that after politely receiving an ang bao, I ran out crying and ran all the way to Choa Chu Kang park, crying on the swing, then slowly went to Lot 1 and changed my CD.

When I came back, he kept it up, until he finally got to play computer. 为什么要把我说得一文不值,说成一个没人要的小孩,只是比不得以才收留?Now I have no mood to watch Chingay, an event I really really loved and actually had a chance to go to, but everybody didn't let me go to help (our religion had a chance to do guard duty), saying I was too small when the age requirement was 12.

Where's Jie when I need her?


8:38 PM
Piercing Needle

When tears drop from my face,
I see no point wiping them away.
One poor heart has been pierced,

Many many times just today.

Knives and needles may hurt so,
But words might impact more.
Don't say you didn't mean to,
I have heard those lines before.

Leave me alone to my tears,
Let me cry myself to sleep.
Once in impossible to take out,
That needle in my heart so deep.