depresión desesperación I have been hurt
again
Sunday, June 27, 2010, 3:45 AM

How big is your bed?
Single. It's enough for me. I don't like sleeping in big beds with no one beside me.

What are you listening to right now?
蔡旻佑的《我可以》。最近很喜欢听他的歌,都好好听哦!


How is the weather right now?
It's in the middle of the night. Not quite windy, not quite cloudy.
 Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

Zou Yan. She was asking for my Passport number. And it was in the middle of my shower. -.-"
The first thing you notice about the opposite gender?
Eyes.

Favorite type of Food?
水煮的食物吧!可以吃出食物的原味。

Do you want children?

Yes! But it'll be far away in the future.
Hair color?

Brownish Black.
 Do you wear contacts?
Nah. No courage to risk infections and getting blind.



Have you ever cried over a love lost?
Yeah. I loved my late grandpa dearly.


Last Movie you watched?


Hm...Can't remember. Oh! Liar Game: The Final Round.
 What were you doing before filling this out?
Having Diarrhea.

Favorite animal?
Humans.

Favorite drink?
Pepsi. Ginger Beer. Frappe.

Favorite flower?
Purple Roses. Any flower that looks nice.

Have you ever loved a person at any point of time?
Yep! My family.

Who would you like to see right now?
国王,羅志祥。

What color are your bedroom walls?
Baby Blue.
Have you ever fired a gun?
Maybe once or twice on my brother's XBox. Not that I wanted to.

Do you like to travel by plane?
It's not bad. I like the food and drinks. x)

Right handed or Left?
Right.


If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
7-eleven. I want to drink ginger beer....

Are you missing someone?
Not really.

Do you have a tattoo?
...no. But I have tattoos every National Day, and usually it's the one that says "Made in Singapore".

Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
I haven't watched them since P3 or P4.

What is the wallpaper on your cellphone?

Favorite hangout?
Rooftop or in my room.


Can’t live without?
My family, My dream, my 3C products, my religion and 国王!

Favorite songs?
罗志祥的《为你写首歌》.

What are you afraid of?
Many things.

Are you a giver or a taker?
Both.

What do you sleep in?
Tee and shorts.

Stuck on a deserted island, and can only bring one thing?
A boat. Or a helicopter.

To save in a fire?
My family.

What is your favorite color?
Black.

What are the things you always bring with you?
Handphone, mp4, keys, comb, wallet.

What did you want to be when you were a kid?
English Professor. But I don't want to be one now.

What color are your bedsheets?
I have many sets. Right now they are yellow and orange.

Who do you want to meet?
罗主任。

Do you smile often?
Very often, I guess.

Do you wish on stars?
No. Although it seems to ba romantic thing to do.

When did you last cry?
Just now. Because I was watching a drama.

Do you like your handwriting?
Not really. at least most of the time.

Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
I fainted in my mum's bed.

Song playing right now?
我想要说 by 蔡旻佑

What are you doing tomorrow?
Homework.

Does anyone like you?
If it's that like, I don't think so.

What’s annoying you right now?
I keep wanting to go to the toilet.

Have you ever watched a movie drunk?
I've never been drunk before.

Are you tired?
...YES. But i'm not going to sleep anytime soon.

What will you do Sunday?
That's tomorrow? oh. Today.

What kinda cell company do you use?
Singtel.

Where were you at midnight on Saturday?
That's 3 hours ago. Reading 陶晶莹‘s 《我爱故我在》

Are you married?
No.

Do you wear any jewelry?
Mainly earrings. The others are only when I go out.

What’s one thing you want right now?
Go to the toilet.

Do you find yourself loved?
Yes. My family showers me with love.

Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
On the rocks. In OBS.


What’s the closest blue object to you?
My water bottle.

What is your natural hair color?
Brownish Black? Okay, it was raven black, but somehow, it turned brownish.

Favorite subject?
Geography and Integrated Humanities.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010, 12:03 AM
无底洞

感觉心中有一个很深很深的无底洞。以前总会试着用食物填满这个空虚,但除了让自己增肥之外,我领悟到吃并没有什么帮助。这个无底洞到底是哪里来的?是压力?还是孤单?这个洞不停的扩展,似乎要把我体内全部挖空,而我只能默默忍受那种痛苦,什么也没有说。不,我应该说,我已经没有力气说了。

这种时候,你会做什么呢?很想哭一场吗?我很想,但是一滴眼泪也掉不出来,我只能继续做我该做的东西,试图忘记那种被掏空的悲伤。原来我那么爱吃,就是为了感觉很饱,蒙骗自己我很满足。

终于,我能够完全体会到这句歌词:“咖啡麻醉不了孤单,只会让夜更长。”

Saturday, June 05, 2010, 8:35 PM

是我的错吗?是我很难相处还是很难缠吗?为什么我跟谁说话,谁就不理我?有些人以前我认识,可是日子一长,渐渐地,我们越来越疏远,比陌生人还陌生。明明知道彼此是朋友,但谁都不记得谁是谁。哈哈,真好笑。

不过,为什么连陌生人都不理我?到底是因为我们不熟,没有共同的话题,还是我很难做朋友啊?对,朋友并不是我生活的支柱,但朋友对我来说也重要啊!跟他们聊天,不知道为什么总会变得很尴尬。是我哪里做错了吗?是我得罪他们了吗?还是单单想跟他们做朋友就是错的。

Thursday, June 03, 2010, 4:53 PM
BSP 双文化露营 2010

刚刚从双文化露营 (1/6/10 - 3/6/10) 回来。仍然非常想念大家。这次,我真的认识了好多新朋友,体验到很多不同的活动。原本以为这次的露营就会是一整天听演讲、再演讲,会聊。但是现在感觉并非如此。

其中,我离营两次,为了参加 Singapore Mathematics Olympiad。During the first SMO Senior on Tuesday, I went and miraculously, I could answer 9 questions. Who cares if they are not correct. The fact that I could answer is brilliant enough. Hopefully this time, I'll get a bronze. After SMO ended, I took a taxi by myself back. The taxi driver is really cool, he didn't know how to get to Singapore Sports School from SLE, and he kept looking at his phone, so I was curious and peeped. It was a GPS system.

回到SSS,就把包放回房间。那里的房间真的有够美。不枉费那里学生一年$25 000的学费啊!只是有些地方没常清理吧,桌子底下蛮脏的吧。不过我放下了就去吃饭。食堂里的饭也非常丰盛,令我悲哀想起我们南洋Boarding School不适合给人吃的食物;确实也是。价格差那么多,食物、住宿也必定会有差距啊!吃饭的时候,素食特别热着,素料也很丰盛,不像从来没做过的人弄的。当时,一个男生跟我打招呼,说我早上没到,之类的。后来发现他叫宋山,很友善。

第一天下午的讲座,《从镜头里看中国》,讲师提供了很多艺术照,可是我感触没有很深。很多人都非常喜欢那场讲座,但为什么我感觉虽然学到的还是挺多,但并非我想听的呢?或许是我不会利用学到的那些知识吧,等到有一天我了解其中的重要性了,我才能够体会这次演讲的目的吧!


然后我们制作国旗。原来我们组有一个AEP的人哦。他的设计感蛮好的,只是他选了一些我不会用的东西,粉红色和画越开越好的笑脸。我整个差一点晕倒了,他不是男生吗?可是不知道谁提议的名字“七分熟”还不错,我觉得很酷!

晚上的夜间游戏可好玩啦!
第一个游戏:跳绳。五个人一起跳应该很难,但我们竟然跳到58次!太厉害了。我们团队精神应该超好的。再说了,游戏的时候,又累又喘,但是从中认识了每个人的名字,也跟其他组员,无非是男生或女生培养感情。

第二个游戏,用很短的吸管穿rubber band。这个游戏真的太普遍了啦!我以为会很容易,但是出现了两个匪夷所思的事情。一、就是Amanda是传给我的人。但我没有面对她的时候,我大部分已经含着一根塑胶圈了,可是每次她情绪太过激动,就会大力地拍打我的背!痛死了!二、yimin不知道是怎样,一直不肯弯下身来接亦欣的rubber band。我们都知道她很高,但弯一下不会有损形象,也不会怎么样,奇怪。在她那儿掉了一半以上的rubber band吧!

第三个游戏,是用我们的身体组成一些字,我一直都是一个“点”。呵呵。看其他人趴来趴去非常搞笑,但本人身型太短,没什么用处,只好给你们当小不点啰!
第四个游戏:用脚扶助一个大水缸。就好比之前PSLcamp一样。应为害怕力量不平衡,所以我们是一男一女躺着,但我两旁的人都很高,相比之下,我真的是小矮人一个,所以我脚不管抬多高,都摸不着那可怜的桶。它,因为我们都太过用力,出现了一条裂痕。
第五个游戏,是用water bomb玩 Captain's ball。其实,唯一的赢法就是不要打破太多球,我们组赢了,而且我没有弄湿,只不过流汗而以。看来衣服是白还了呀!大家都很积极,而我就等着接球罢了,真不过瘾,也是跟男生争,也争不过来,在一旁跟做Captain的LiangJun聊天更好。

第二天早上,我五点多就起床了,刷牙什么都弄好之后,我就下楼吃早饭。我吃米粉,真的很不习惯早上吃这种餐,所以只吃一点点,就跟纯子焦急地等Zou Yan下来,一起搭德士。可是偏偏她迟到了,一定会塞车的啦!我的判断没错,塞车了,花了超过一个小时才到达学校,车费$24.80,三个人分。可是Math Olympiad Open简直就是浪费时间!我等同于交白卷,不管试了多久,没有一天我真正答得出来,但有两题勉强答了。其余的23题我都是在玩4D ToTo而已。比赛还没结束,Zou Yan跑出去很久,以为她去上厕所,没想到她是出去磨蹭时间,闲逛!竟然还顺便Sign Up 去看南洋剧坊的公演,《情似百味》了。我们三个也提早走了。经过Dance Studio外面的饮料贩卖机,我们三个人回味童年时光,每人买一罐旺仔牛奶喝!哈哈哈,还不错喝,只是太甜了。你们也知道,我不太喜欢甜食。

回去之后,午餐也蛮好吃,只不过我吃不下饭,把好多,应该说全部对掉。真的很惭愧,浪费食物,但比起浪费的惭愧,我更不能忍受肚子暴涨而且对胃的危害。饭后,我们讨论了当晚文娱晚会将表演的东西。我呈现了我的剧本,他们大部分都接受了。


接下来就是讲座:《中国当代社会现象》。这个演讲的内容我事前大概都略懂,但经过这次演讲,真的了解得更深入。我抄了许多笔记呢!呵呵。不过这些是本人私人收藏,决不会外流的!讲座进行的当儿,很多人都嘛睡着!不过我也不能够说什么,因为自己也很想睡觉,但太有内容的演讲防止我打瞌睡。后来,我发现一件事:不管什么演讲,zouyan都会像一些特别啰嗦、特别深奥的问题,而且不止是一个,一次又很多个!大家应该都对她产生印象了吧,不管是好的或坏的。她太聪敏了吧!

彩排得满顺利的,我们的剧本也很平顺的完成。剧情里面,我们组呈现了一个唱歌比赛的节目,男生唱JJ的《爱与希望》,因为Koshu特别喜欢JJ。女生唱的是By2的《我知道》。不过到了文娱晚会,我们表演之前突然觉得我们的剧太过平淡了!在台上临时加的桥段,让人捉摸不了的话使我们超时,还没演完就被赶下台。不过文娱晚会很精彩,就是因为太精彩所以没办法用一言两语说完。我的文章已经很长了,不要太啰嗦了!
 晚上很high,冲凉的时候已经很晚,不过跟wanlin和xiaojing约好一起写信给同组的组员。我每人各写一份,他们两人写一份。我真的真心诚意写信的,但是第一次写,不知道他们感觉怎么样,会觉得我的信没有诚意吗?很困惑。

结束得挺圆满的,但也很想念大家。希望以后还有见面的机会哦!